More Pilots You Won’t See This Year

From the minds of Rueben and Tiffany

Two weeks ago, the Nice Girls presented the hottest television pilots you won’t see this year. We had so much fun with that, we came up with some silly pilots that you won’t see this year.

1. Charlie’s Angels – This new pilot has a twist on the original 1970’s series and the box-office releases: Bosley is a woman, played by Melrose Place star Katie Cassidy; Charlie’s voice is provided by Leann Hunley (Dawson’s Creek) and the angels are three petty thieves instead of cops, each with their own set of skills and well-intentioned efforts. The Angels will be portrayed by Ryan Hansen (Veronica Mars and Party Down) as Jack Martin, Matt Long (Jack & Bobby and The Deep End) as Sam Drake and Andrew St. John (Life Is Wild) as Keith Grant. TAGLINE: They may not be angels but they sure try.
2. Riptide – In this remake Paul Gross (Due South and Eastwick) stars as Cooper Anders and Callum Keith Rennie (Battlestar Galactica and Due South) stars as Nathan Ryker, former Gulf War vets who now run a private investigation agency in sunny California. With the help of Cooper’s son Mike, played by Logan Lerman (Jack & Bobby), who is a computer genius, they crack some of the toughest cases in the region. Jean-Luc Bilodeau (Kyle XY) is clueless surfer dude Jake who tries to help his best bud – Mike – but only ends up getting in the way and messing things up. TAGLINE: If crime solving were this easy, everyone would do it.
3. My Favorite Martian – In this updated version of the ’60s classic, Matt Dallas (Kyle XY and Eastwick) stars as the Martian (soon to be nicknamed Marty) with a heart of gold, but no antennas growing out of his head. Instead he has the ability to read minds and move any object with a simple glance. He is discovered in rural Ohio after his ship crash lands into the barn of reclusive twentysomething Hank Barnes (Richard Harmon from Caprica) who is more than meets the eye. He is a true believer who has been following UFO sightings since his father was “taken” when Hank was 3 years old. Willa Holland (The O.C. and Gossip Girl) will play Lainie Britton, the town florist who is the girl of both of their dreams. TAGLINE: More than your typical out-of-this world experience.
4. The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew Mysteries – Devon Bostick (Being Erica) and Jake Abel (Supernatural) will play Joe and Frank Hardy (respectively), the crime-solving siblings who are the sons of world-renowned crime novelist (and would-be private investigator) Frank Hardy. They have crime-solving in their blood and, like their father, they are aspiring novelists. On the other end of the spectrum, Greg Grunberg (Heroes) will star as Carson Drew, the father of crime solver Nancy Drew, portrayed by Alexa Vega (Spy Kids). Carlo Marks (Smallville) will appear as Nancy’s boyfriend Ned, who reluctantly helps in her capers. TAGLINE: Always be prepared or prepare for the worst – whichever comes first.
5. Lane and Cruz (inspired by Hardcastle and McCormick) – Rob Lowe will star as grumpy judge Richard Lane, who ends up with slick race car driver and malcontent Wilhemina “Will” Cruz (Natalie Morales from White Collar) in his court room. Through a weird twist of fate, Will is forced to work for the judge much to his dismay and the ire of the judge’s driven clerk, Albert “Al” Wallace (Percy Daggs III from Veronica Mars). TAGLINE: Crime doesn’t pay and they are both going to learn the hard way.
6. Simon and Simon – Much like its predecessor this series will focus on two very different family members: the Simon sisters who are private investigators. Sabrina Simon (Teri Polo from Meet the Fockers) is the prissy, Malibu Barbie type, who is as shrewd as her sister is tough. Sally “Sal” Simon (Missi Pyle from Heroes), is an Iraqi vet, who is very butch but has a softer side that only her sister sees or knows about. They work alongside Detective Mark Baker (Warren Christie from October Road), the LA cop who was forced to work with the Simon sisters on one of his first cases after moving to the City of Angels but, while feigning dislike for them, he secretly has a “thing” for Sal. TAGLINE: With sisters like these who needs enemies.

Again, none of these shows are real television pilots under consideration by any of the networks or even pitch ideas for the network brass, they are simply the ideas of the Nice Girls. While these aren’t necessarily shows we would WANT to watch, they could potentially turn into guilty pleasures if they were actual pilots.