NEW GIRL Recap: Hipster Neighbors

Jess is at home watching old sitcoms when the boys come home. On the couch wins Nick the bet about where Jess will be when they get home. They wonder if she has a plan of some sort, she insists she has been working on something. That something is an Urkel impression. The boys are less than impressed.
She further insists she can do an impression of any 80’s sitcom star. It isn’t pretty. Schmidt cuts her off. She needs to tell them what the plan is. Jess loves her job at the Casserole Shanty. She got a locker today and in 18 months she will get dental. Her life rules!

There is a knock on the door, it is four hipsters, they just moved in next door. They are having a few people over and when Schmidt says he will be there they say it is just some young people. Schmidt doesn’t take this too well. He obsesses over it, so much so that he brings out his Actuarial table showing that he will live to 123 years old. Winston questions the accuracy of this site. Nick says he likes getting older, he is finally growing into his old man personality.
Schmidt keeps this up calling himself the Jewish Peter Pan and calling Nick Gran Torino. Care to guess where this ends? In a slap fight, I swear these boys fight like little girls.

The gang goes to the hallway to call on their new neighbors. This prompts another fight because Nick is wearing Old Spice. According to him it’s coming back. According to Schmidt it isn’t a real spice. The fighting escalates until the neighbor opens the door. The party has been downgraded to a chill hangout. Schmidt and Jess decide to stay but Nick and Winston says they can’t do it and take off. Schmidt ruins the ending to Top Gun for the “kids”. Jess however makes a great impression on them. They even like her Urkel impression, mainly because they have no idea who Urkel is and they think she made up the phrase, “Did I do that?” Poor Schmidt, I fear this will cause him to spiral into an even worse version of himself.

The next morning Schmidt tells the boys the party was great. Jess says it is a whole other world over there. The only problem is Schmidt, the kids don’t like him. Nick understands, he has had a lot of friendships end because they didn’t like Schmidt. He is going to help her. Winston, who calls himself Prank Sinatra offers to help Nick with whatever he is planning. Nick doesn’t seem to really want his help. Prank Sinatra is a self-given nickname. If you are giving yourself a nickname than there is a problem, in fact Nick says he is the worst prankster in the world. Winston either goes way to small or way to big.
Schmidt comes out limping. His hip aches. Nick asks him if he tried different shoes and Schmidt says he tries on four pairs of shoes with every outfit. I have a confession to make here, I don’t think I own four pairs of shoes. I’m not a shoe person so I don’t get it.
As Schmidt leaves Nick pulls out a box with all of the left inserts out of Schmidt’s shoes, he stole them all so Schmidt is an 1/8 of an inch shorter on the left side. No wonder his hip hurts. Nicks next prank involves pouring pee all over Schmidt’s bed so he thinks he is incontinent. Winston’s over the top idea is instead to pour acid all over Schmidt’s face. Too big Winston, too big.

Later that night Schmidt and Jess are on their way to the hipster’s apartment. They are having another hang tonight, they have artichokes, hula-hoops and a guitar, which is clearly the making of a great night. Schmidt finally realizes they don’t like him and makes up another engagement so he can’t go. Poor Schmidt he is left in the hall looks at Jess and the hipsters go to hula-hoop.

Nick is still working on his numerous pranks to make Schmidt feel old. Winston laments that he wants to care about something as much as Nick cares about ruining Schmidt life.
Jess gets in and needs a nap, she’s been up for 48 hours hanging with her buddies. Schmidt is really falling for Nick’s pranks. So much in fact he asks Jess to help him be younger and cool.

All of this pranking and living the others are doing is making Winston worry he isn’t seizing his life. According to Schmidt’s web site Winston only has 3.5 years left to live.

Back at the hipster’s place Schmidt is trying to be cool…it is not working. Jess however can do no wrong. She starts to feel bad about Schmidt not fitting in and admits she didn’t make up “Did I do that?” Her whole relationship with them is based on a lie.
Schmidt is mad, she gave up, he never gives up…which is why he always tries so hard. Jess loses it for a second saying her life sucks so much right now, but Schmidt tells her it is going to be okay.

We have one more “run in” with the hipsters who tell Schmidt they don’t dislike him because he is old they hate him because he is an ass-head. That is something he can live with.

Winston takes his new found seizing life thing and turns it into his own radio show. From 2:35 to 5:35 AM. Prime time for truckers.

Nick’s last prank is wrong prescription contacts and a hump sewn into Schmidt’s jacket. What is Winston’s last prank you ask…yelling “Get Some” before hitting Schmidt with a ski.

New Girl airs Tuesday 9/8c on Fox