THE MINDY PROJECT: 77 thoughts we had during “Decision 2016”

Considering season four of The Mindy Project ended with some pretty momentous cliffhangers – Mindy and Danny sleeping together despite him being engaged (and Mindy not knowing about that yet!) and then Jody expressing his love for Mindy by buying her AN APARTMENT – we knew that the season five premiere was bound to be a big one with lots of talking points. So in preparation, we were ready to record our thoughts during the show’s return and share everything that popped into our head during the 24-minute premiere with you guys…

1. Alright, The Mindy Project season five, let’s do this! Ooh Ike Barinholtz’s Morgan is doing the voiceover recapping last season.
2. This recap is hurting my heart a bit – it’s a reminder of how much I’m going to miss Danny and Chris Messina now that Chris is not a regular this season.
3. I see we are picking off right where we left off. Good, I was a bit bummed when last season’s mid-season return caught us up via a montage and skipped the juicy confrontations.
4. “This is kind of the nicest thing anyone has done for anyone.” So true Mindy! I mean, who buys someone an entire apartment when they’re in love with someone who they’re not even with?! I don’t know how they do things in the South, but that is just not normal to me…
5. “You are handsome and rugged, like a lumberjack in a porno.” Okay as wrong as that observation is, I have to say Garrett Dillahunt’s beard is making him look way hotter!
6. Oh boy, poor Jody really has no idea that a certain someone is still on the scene for Mindy…
7. “One man gives me a new upstairs and another gives it to me downstairs.” Yep, the show definitely would not have been able to get away with lines like that had they remained on FOX!
8. I am really loving Mindy’s yellow outfit. Costume designer Salvador Perez is seriously a genius. I want it! #wardrobeenvy

Image: @mindykaling Instagram

9. Here it comes, she’s going to find the invitation to Danny’s wedding. I’m calling it now…
10. YEP.
11. And of course we’re cutting to the credits. Ooh, slightly new credits though!
12, Oh yes, it’s going down!
13. “What is wrong with you?!” Mindy has pretty much nailed that one on the head. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU DANNY? How could you do this?
14. I’ve actually been half expecting Mindy to throw her shoe at Danny or something. She’s a lot calmer than I thought she’d be.
15. “You dress like Madeline from those kids books. I couldn’t help it.” Those are great books! The show was a staple of my childhood. And now I have the theme song in my head. “I’m Madeline, I’m Madeline. I may be pretty small…”
16. Danny really did have plenty of time to tell Mindy in the elevator! I’d like to see how he’s going to get out of this one…
17. Yes, Mindy has done some pretty crappy things over the years (not that I’m judging), but she has never been an adulterer. I’m also pretty pissed that he’s saying that their relationship was always about the sex and not the deep conversation. Dammit Danny!
18. I can’t believe that Danny and Sarah were only together for a few months and he decided to propose. Talk about a slap in the face for Mindy who was even pregnant with his child and he was still all like ‘nah, I don’t believe in marriage’. I’m pretty disappointed in you, Danny.
19. She ruined your life?! Are you serious, Danny?! Do not make me flip to hating you because of your pigheadedness Danny…
20. I see you trying not to smirk at that jerk off comment, Danny. Or is that Chris Messina trying not to break?
21. Danny says that he’s going to tell Sarah and call it off, but I know he’s not going to – I’m calling it now.
22. Don’t fall back into bad habits Mindy, don’t do it! I may be a Mindy/Danny shipper but even I can see that their relationship is not a healthy one right now.
23. “Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey. Stop being sexy.” Damn this chemistry between Mindy Kaling and Chris Messina though! I know that they should not be together right now but they totally have me melting. Dammit.
24. Oh yeah, I totally forgot that she was meant to be in Miami. Did anyone watching even remember that?
25. Aww Jeremy is being all sweet and Team Mindy by thinking about how Danny’s engagement will affect her.
26. Yes Mindy, you probably should have taken the tag off before you put that Miami jersey on.
27. Ha! Trust Beverly to tell it how it is. Okay, maybe apart from her whole ‘Mindy is going to lose it because Danny is marrying a white woman’, pretty sure it wouldn’t matter what race Danny’s fiancé is.
28. Wait, how did Beverly manage to swing the role of reading a poem at Danny’s wedding?! Or is this one of those Beverly moments where she has convinced herself of something that is actually far from reality?
29. Trust Morgan to not only buy a brown corduroy tuxedo, but also one that doesn’t fit him properly.
30. Okay Colette, you can calm down now. You are a bit way too invested in your brother’s love life.
31. Haha, oh Colette, yes Jody buying an apartment for Mindy really is thirsty, as the kids put it these days.
32. Dear Jody, I’m thinking that you probably shouldn’t use the same techniques for wooing that you would for cooking soup, just sayin’…
33. So Tamra knows that Mindy wasn’t in Miami, I wonder what she’ll do with this information. I’m pretty sure what she does is going to end up in something ridiculously hilarious incident that is going to backfire on her.
34. Ooh, Tamra and Colette teaming up, I am so down with this.
35. Wow, Morgan wasn’t kidding – he really did have a brown corduroy tuxedo!
36. Ooh, Rishi is back! YASSSS.
37. Do the math Mindy! It’s her! It’s Danny’s fiancé! You are a smart woman, how are you not putting two and two together?!
38. Yes, it’s a bananagram – dammit, I mean anagram. Thank god Mindy has figured it out.
39. I can’t help but keep looking at Morgan and thinking he’s a time travelling character…

Image: @mindykaling Instagram

40. Now I am expecting Mindy to go at Morgan with her shoe. Not that I am promoting violence or anything…
41. Bless Jeremy and his sweet hobbies.
42. Okay, Mindy hitting them with Jeremy’s fan will do.

Image: @mindykaling Instagram

43. Haha, Tamra pretending to be all lawyered up at Leo’s school. “She had no water, she had no dignity.” I love it when Tamra puts on these more “educated” personas! Remember the last time she did that? That was great!
44. You’ve been sprung Mindy! Poor Colette and Tamra, that’s not something you can unsee.
45. “I’ve spent so much of my life thinking that I was the protagonist in my own movie that I’ve never stopped to think that maybe I’m the villain in somebody else’s.” I really dig that line. It’s very perceptive of you, Mindy.
46. Oh crap, the cat is out of the bag about Mindy and Danny’s reunion and in front of Jody too!
47. Although, Jody did sleep with his sister-in-law, so I feel like he can’t judge and that he’ll probably forgive Mindy.
48. Yep, knew it.
49. Just how many boat loans has Mindy signed for Beverly? And a better question – why?
50. You know it’s been a while since we’ve seen a Mindy and Beverly scene. They need more scenes together. Come to think of it, have we had one since season one of just the two of them? I should look this up…
51. Mindy being torn between two guys is like her rom-com fantasies come true.
52. So, out of the 10 pack of nuggets, the Quarter Pounder with cheese, and the Big Mac, which one is Dr C and which one is Dr K if this is some weird analogy?
53. Beverly and Bernie Sanders, hey? Beverly was sure popular back in the day. That or all these name droppings over the years are all false.
54. As much as I ship Mindy and Danny together, something has got to change before they can get back together. Plus, what Danny did was pretty assy. But I agree that there aren’t sparks with Jody. You can’t force that sort of thing either.
55. “I should be happy with whatever I can get.” As sad as that sounds, raise your hand if you can relate to that?
56. “Not operate out of desperation? That never occurred to me.” I’m totally sensing a “I choose me” ala Kelly Taylor type decision.
57. Who knew Beverly could be so wise? I also swear this is the longest we have seen these two interact together. Can we please have more?
58. Beth Grant is a national treasure. That is all.
59. I want to at least know what type of boat Beverly was going to get. Okay, and also what she was planning to do with it.
60. No one is killing anyone because Danny probably didn’t tell Sarah, I’m telling you now.
61. And now he’s probably going to break Mindy’s heart.
62. The “what are we speech?” I sense this conversation is going to get all serious and also break my heart.
63. Truthful conversations hurt. Bracing myself for the #feels
64. Why does she have to be the one who changes? Aren’t relationships about give and take? Danny needs to change too.
65. And there it is, that moment of realisation by both parties.  It’s always the honest conversations that hurt. Don’t cry Ange, don’t cry.
66. I feel like Chris Messina is trying hard not to laugh in this scene as Mindy is describing their relationshop.
67. “Yeah I love you.” “I love you too.” They may love each other, but it’s not enough.
68. No, don’t do it Danny! The fact that you phrase it as “I guess it means I’m getting married” is a sign you shouldn’t be doing this! You don’t mean it. You’re not excited about it. This is what we call “settling” ladies and gentlemen.
69. He knows he’s settling and that makes me feel sad. Damn feels.
70. And there he goes. I feel like we won’t be seeing Danny/Chris for a while now.
71. What are you up to Mindy?
72. Running to Jody in the rain, hey? How very rom-com-esque of you. PS. Once again the music choices are on point!

Image: @mindykaling Instagram

73. And in a nightie. Totally getting Bridget Jones vibes here.
74. “I wanna be myself for a while.” Knew it.
75. “A good friend would have fallen in love with me.” Are you freaking kidding me now? Watch out Jody, you might give Danny a run for his jackass title right now.
76. You’re being an ass Jody. I get that you’re most likely acting like this out of self-preservation but I still don’t like it.
77. End credits now. “Guest starring Chris Messina”. Seeing this hurts my heart. Also, why does Garett Dillahunt get to be “Special Guest Star” then?

New episodes of The Mindy Project are released on Hulu every Tuesday.

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