NEW GIRL Recap: Now Everybody Dance

Jess is hosting her first middle school dance the theme of which is Love is Forever and Ever and 12 more evers. It may be too soon for this.

She really wants this dance to be perfect but someone sabotages it. They chain the door to the gym and during the dance they pour paste on the breaker box. The chaperones she has lined up all ditch her, except Coach, causing her to call Nick, Schmidt, Winston and Cece.

Cece spends the dance trying to help Jess find out who is trying to ruin their dance. It turns out it is a student. None of the boys want to dance with her so she wanted to stop the dance. Jess tells her boys are stupid but not to give up on them.

Schmidt meanwhile is in charge of the snack table. He immediately gets into an argument with a bully. During the lights out part of the evening he challenges the kid to a foot race.

Winston is in charge of the dance floor. He can’t help but bust out some moves. His moves cause the girls to go wild and before the night is out he has all of the girls following him around in a giggling mass.

Nick is quite possibly the worst chaperone of all. He is tasked with checking the parking lot for stragglers. He finds a few and before long is on a sugar high, thanks to their super-sized drinks, and is lighting off fireworks with them.

It all culminates with Schmidt running the race against the bully, Winston running away from the girls and Nick being pushed in a shopping cart around the parking lot. Coach comes outside, blows his whistle and restores order. He chastises the guys for being the worst chaperones ever. “Ray Charles belt would be a better chaperone than you!”

At the end of the episode the kids all gather in the gym using their phones flashlights to brighten things up while the boys attempt to rap. It’s atrocious and someone finds a radio to play some real music while everyone dances.

Oh and quote of the night goes to Schmidt.

Things that Make a Man (per Schmidt)
Earning a respectable wage
Wearing a proper hanging pair of slacks
Ordering sushi like a sick ass boss

New Girl airs Tuesday 9/8c on FOX