NEW GIRL Recap: Bathtub

The boys are watching wresting when Jess interrupts, which is probably a good thing since Schmidt was trying to do some of the wresting moves on Nick. She has one word for them…bathtub. She holds up a picture of all of them in a bathtub. Well it’s Nick, Schmidt, Jess and James Brown in a tub; I guess Winston wouldn’t smile for any of her pictures.
Jess has a whole presentation that includes, wine and bubbles.

Schmidt: Baths are medieval filth cauldrons.

They put it to a loft vote. Nick, Schmidt and Winston all vote no but Winston seems hesitant.

At work the next day Schmidt’s boss asks him if he wants to pitch on the Double V campaign. It’s Vodka with vitamins, hence the Double V. He’s never run an account before. She says to check over the account, come into her office in his best suit tomorrow and give her his take on the campaign. Does he open the folder of information on the product? No. He gets out a binder of him in suits in different poses to pick the best one. That’s our Schmidt.

Later at the bar the group is congratulating Schmidt on sleeping his way to the top, most of the group anyway. Nick is actually staring at a girl in a booth. It’s Olivia Munn and she is as pretty as always.
Nick has pretend conversations with her. In his mind her name is Thirsty Mendelsohn. Schmidt isn’t sure why Nick made her Jewish but that isn’t the point. According to Nick the point is what he has with Thirsty is perfect. She is surly, like him. She rolls her eyes at everybody and drinks in the middle of the day, just like him. Jess thinks he should go talk to her but Nick says absolutely not. The first rule of bartending is you never cross to the other side of the bar. That’s when things get messy.

Winston pulls Jess over to the jukebox. Once there he says he wants to talk about her bathtub idea. He loves a good bath. His idea is to split the cost of the tub with Jess, hide it on the roof and then install it in the middle of the night. When the guys see it he will blame it on her. Jess thinks they should just tell the guys he wants a tub too.

Cece shows up at the bar with the announcement that she broke up with Robby. When she told him she needed to get serious about having kids he told her, “Okay cool.” but that is all he has said to her since. Schmidt tries to comfort her with his weirdness.
Schmidt: Look at your beauty, with your hair. I’d eat it out of a bowel.

The next day at the loft Schmidt is in the bathroom going over what he wants to say to Cece. It consists of him getting all gangster with things like “You my boo. I been missing you.”
How many tries must these conversations take? I’d be laughing every time.

On the roof Jess and Winston are trying out a tub. They have it filled with water and it looks good, no leaks. What happens next is horrific. The tub falls partially through the roof and spills most of the water out onto Schmidt’s suits. They run downstairs to find Schmidt’s suits covered in plaster, ceiling tiles and water.
Schmidt is going to be pissed!

They call the landlord who fixes the hole in the ceiling. Remy wants to know if there is anything else they can fix for Jess, perhaps a two man job in her bedroom. Jess says great but they are done, thanks.
On to how they are going to fix the suit issue… They decide to fake a robbery for the insurance money. Seems logical to me. They are going to pretend meth addicts broke in and stole the suits. They run around the house and put things into a bag, things meth addicts would want to steal. Nothing in Jess’s room of course and Nick’s room looks like it was already hit by vandals.

At the bar Nick sees Thirsty get in a fight with her boyfriend. After the boyfriend storms out he takes a deep breath and leaves the comfort of his bar. He asks her if she wants a whisky and Angie (Thirsty) says get a bottle and get me drunk, idiot. Maybe they are made for each other…Nick does like calling people idiots. He’s not slick but she doesn’t seem too put out by that fact.

In the loft Schmidt is looking around at all the things the meth heads stole. The only suit he has left is his summer suit; it has a lightning bolt on the back. He can’t believe they would take his suits and leave the jar full of money on the counter. Then he says it’s a good thing he has a security camera in there, this S.O.B. is going down! Winston and Jess look concerned.

Schmidt stops by Cece’s house with a box containing a pigeon, he couldn’t find a dove. He doesn’t waste much time telling Cece he loves her, he has loved her for a long time.
He says he is ready for a serious commitment; he is even willing to have kids with her if that is what she wants. Cece says her Mom is going to hate him, she doesn’t like Jew’s but Schmidt says everyone hates Jew’s. She just shakes her head and smiles.
Schmidt: I’ll convert to Indian-ism.
No matter what Cece says Schmidt counters and finally says why don’t we have dinner tonight. She can’t say no to that and accepts.

Winston has not taken the news of Schmidt’s security camera too well. He is lying on the roof in nothing but his underwear. Jess says he is having a panic attack. Winston says no, this is just a case of the willy’s.

Over at the bar Angie’s boyfriend has shown up and grabs Nick’s shirt, threatening to kill him. Angie knocks him out with a napkin holder. She tells Nick to help her get him to her friend who can stitch him up.

Schmidt is in the office in his lightening suit giving his boss his pitch on Double V Vodka. She asks if he has tried the vodka, he says no so they start doing shots. He keeps looking at his watch because he doesn’t want to be late for dinner with Cece.

At the apartment Jess is telling Winston everyone has quirks, she is extremely claustrophobic. She even gets in her closet and closes the door to prove it. Of course the door gets stuck so she is having a panic attack in the closet and Winston can’t get the door open so he has a panic attack outside of the closet. His attack requires him to take his clothes off though and we are back to underwear wearing Winston.

Angie and Nick have dragged her boyfriend to the strip club where Angie works. Nick is uncomfortable with her being a stripper, but mainly because Nick is just not good with life situations in general.

Schmidt gets to Cece’s house very late. He is extremely drunk and Cece is not happy. He is so excited because they got the vodka account and he does some drunk rambling while Cece sits there looking annoyed. Schmidt passes out on her lap and she calls her Mom saying she is ready to be set up on dates. Now I’m making the annoyed face she was just making.

Remy shows up at the apartment to help Jess get out of her closet, he makes another pass at them but they turn him down. Poor crazy Remy.
Jess and Winston decide there is only one obvious thing to do now, they fake another robbery. A very disheveled Schmidt gets home to find them tied up in the living room. It looks like the meth heads returned the suits, after having them dry cleaned. Before Schmidt can do too much questioning Winston talks about how badly he wants a tub with lots of bubbles. Schmidt says he doesn’t care, they can have a tub. He is just sad because Cece doesn’t want him.

Angie shows up at the bar, she isn’t there to drink; she is there to see Nick. I’m talking climb on the bar, make out with Nick. As much as I want Jess and Nick to eventually end up together I do like Angie and Nick, there was nothing wrong with the way she got into Nick’s space and kissed him.

New Girl airs Tuesday 9/8c on Fox