WAREHOUSE 13 Recap: No Pain No Gain

Koto, Japan, a Japanese man is showing an artifact to an Arabian man. Claudia and Myka are dressed as Geishas, which is so cool. Myka uses an Artifact to put the buyers to sleep and grab the bad artifact, I mean they also have to do some kicking and whatnot but they get the job done. Myka’s sister also calls to let Myka know she is pregnant. Myka is going to be an Aunt and she is really excited.

Artie is in the warehouse watching a hockey game when Pete shows up. Myka and Claudia get back to the warehouse with the artifact and Myka tells Pete the good news about her sister.
Artie wants them to pay attention, on the hockey game a player gets hurt and “heals” himself almost immediately. Pete and Myka need to go check it out.

Artie gives Claudia an envelope that arrived for her. She opens it. It is an invitation to lunch from Mrs. Frederick. Claudia is a little worried. She wonders if it has something to do with the weird feelings she has been having lately, her heart racing, etc…Artie automatically sees his Claudia has gone crazy and is trying to kill me with a dagger vision. He wants to know why she hasn’t said something to him sooner. She says never mind, don’t worry about it.

In Toronto Pete and Myka are at the hockey arena. They walk past a bunch of fans, one of whom is Kirsten Nelson from Psych. She wants to know if Pete and Myka will bring in some treats she made for one of the players. Pete says sure, and he eats quite a few of them before the team owner (Timothy Omundson also from Psych) can tell him all of the things fans put into their treats…Things you may not want to eat.

Myka wants to question Mike Madden (the player with the artifact). He comes onto her. She doesn’t seem amused.

Back at the warehouse Jinks runs into Artie. Artie says he is going to go do inventory but Jinks knows he is lying.

Pete gets the x-ray of Maddens arm from right after the game. She looks at it and says it isn’t Madden’s arm; his bones weren’t fused like the ones in the x-ray. She was pre-med before she was pre-law before she joined the secret service. Pete points out and yet she still ended up in the same place he did.
Myka wants to break into the medical office and find the real x-ray. Pete really wants to drive a Zamboni.

Artie is driving around the warehouse on a Segway…it’s awesome. He finds another black diamond where an artifact should be. Jinks is right behind him and wants to know what is going on. Artie tells him artifacts are disappearing from the warehouse. For some reason the computer isn’t being alerted when things are going missing.
Artie says this can’t be random, Jinks wonders what other Artifacts are personal to Artie. Artie takes off on the Segway again with Jinks jogging after him.

Myka and Pete find the real x-ray. The bone is still broken but something she has never seen before is present. The muscle and tissue have grown around the bone to support it. This is the same with his knee and other parts of his body. He shouldn’t be able to walk, let alone play.

In the locker room Pete and Myka are spraying Madden’s gear. Nothing sparks.
In the shower Madden and another teammate are fighting. Pete breaks it up but notices that Madden is in pain, he isn’t the same as he was on the ice. He thinks someone is using an artifact on Madden.
Myka thinks maybe the owner. He is the one that gave them the incorrect x-ray.

In Minneapolis Mrs. Frederick is meeting with Claudia. Claudia looks freaked out but very nice, her hair is all done up and she is wearing very dressy clothes. Mrs. Frederick says it isn’t quite time yet for Claudia to fulfill her destiny but she thinks Claudia should get a glimpse.

Myka and Pete question the owner. He mentions that on the road Madden is a total wash, he only brings it for the fans at the home games. Myka wonders if it is part of the rink, in the arena. Pete points out that during practice Madden was wobbly, Pete thinks it must be something a fan is bringing into the games.

At the warehouse Artie is finding more and more artifacts missing. Someone is undoing his life’s work. Jinks wonders if there is an artifact that was taken that would be easy to find. Artie says The McCoy Rifle and rides off. It is in fact missing. He then tells Jinks they have to go find the Hatfield Rifle. He didn’t “capture” that artifact so it might still be in the warehouse. He yells at Jinks to keep up as he rides off! Poor Jinks!

Claudia and Mrs. Frederick are walking around. She asks Claudia if she senses anything. Claudia jokes and then focuses. She walks up to a window and sees a woman. She doesn’t know what it is about her but there is something. A guy runs in with a gun to rob the place. He is spooked by another lady yelling and the lady Claudia pointed out ends up taking a bullet in the robbery to protect the small child that is also in the store.
Claudia checks on the lady who took the bullet, she looks down and sees her bracelet flash. Claudia goes back outside to find Mrs. Frederick. She wants to know if Mrs. Frederick knew that was going to happen. Mrs. Frederick is vague (as per her usual). Claudia says the ladies bracelet got all glowey. She then realizes it was the birth of an artifact. Mrs. Frederick says it was an ordinary person doing an extraordinary thing. The bravery of the moment created an artifact. Claudia wonders if they should go get the bracelet. Mrs. Frederick says no, it is fine; they only need to do something if it starts causing trouble. Claudia thought artifacts came from people who were famous, people who had Wikipedia Pages. Mrs. Frederick says the creation of an artifact is simply the meeting of an object, a person and a moment. Claudia says that was a good glimpse.
Mrs. Frederick says there is something else she should see.

At the arena Pete and Myka are talking to Madden. He says he doesn’t want outside help, that is cheating and he doesn’t cheat. He is happy to help them in any way he can. Myka is considerably less hostile to him this meeting. She may have even smiled.
Pete is going to set up a section at the game for Madden’s most hardcore fans. Madden will pretend to get really hurt during the game and they will see what happens.

Madden asks Myka her first name. Then he makes an opera reference about The Magic Flute. Myka is now more than smiling. Pete has to practically drag her away from Madden.
Pete then does something I never thought I would see. He tells Myka Love is Crazy and snaps his fingers while flamboyantly throwing his arm around and calls himself the sassy best friend. It. Was. Awesome.

Artie finds the Hatfield Rifle. It is connected to the McCoy rifle so when Jinks looks thru the site of the rifle Jinks sees the side of a building with a sign showing a cow with lipstick. Artie says he knows where that is, bring the rifle.

At the hockey game while Pete is checking the bags of the super fans Myka is down by the ice. She tells Madden she is sorry she can’t be more specific about what is going on. He says that is okay and leans in and kisses her. The two of them kissing ends up on the jumbo-tron.

The game starts and Madden takes a hit and is laid out on the ice. Close to the same time Myka holds her stomach and slowly climbs the stairs. None of the super fans are doing anything to help Madden.
Myka gets into the bathroom screaming. She calls Pete and tells him to get in there NOW! Myka comes out of a stall and she is pregnant…that’s right, pregnant! Really really pregnant. Pete is freaked out. They think they should call Artie.

Jinks and Artie are close to the McCoy rifle, the Hatfield rifle starts to pull Jinks. Artie talks to Pete and Myka, he thinks this is a wish fulfillment artifact. He tells Myka to stop kissing people and find out who would wish her pregnant. Pete looks concerned….he wished for her to be pregnant. He saw a little boy and was thinking will he ever have a family, who would share his insane life with him and then he thought Myka already does share his life with him and…Myka tells him to stop talking or she may start crying. Myka says to find the keychain he was holding while thinking about this whole crazy thing, but first she has to find a bathroom.

Artie and Jinks find the warehouse with the rifle. Artie opens the door and the McCoy rifle starts shooting at Jinks and the Hatfield rifle. Jinks is upset, Artie says sorry, it’s not like you would have died though. Before he can think about it Jinks blurts out, yeah but Claudia might have! Artie says excuse me. Jinks tries to backtrack but he can’t. He spills the secret of the Metronome to Artie. Artie says they have to get him off the Metronome but right now they have to get the rifle into the car before they get Claudia shot.

Back at the arena Pete and Myka find the seat empty were one of the crazy fans was sitting. Pete has her name and address though so they are going to track her down.

Artie and Jinks find all of the artifacts in the warehouse, well not everything. Something’s seem to have been shipped.

Mkya and Pete get to the fans house, Judy. She has photoshopped her head into pictures with Madden. There is an urn on a table, it is her grandfather who died recently. There are clippings from articles too. Her grandfather was a World War II vet who survived some very serious things in the war.
They figure it was the dog tags from Judy’s (the super fan) keychain so they are going to wait for her to show up.

Myka has to pee again. In the bathroom she sees that all of Judy’s stuff is packed. It turns out Judy is at the arena; She wants Madden to get into her car. He says he can’t so she rebrakes his arm and practically pulls him into her car. She says they should start again, her name is Judy and she loves him and he loves her, he just doesn’t know it yet.

Myka sees a picture of a cabin at Judy’s house. She figures they went there.
Judy is there with Mike. Mike looks a little scared…understandably so. Judy is telling him how much she has done for him. She closes her eyes and Mike throws his hot cider on her. She grabs the dog tags and rebrakes his legs. It’s an awful lot like Misery right now.

Pete and Myka get to the cabin, except Myka is sound asleep. Pete leaves her in the car. Pete enters the house looking for Judy but she ran out of the house with an ax and now she has Myka. Pete drops his gun, he says they will just get in the car and forget this ever happened.
Judy says they will go get the police and since she is seriously crazy, she grabs her dog tags and says she wishes Pete’s lungs would collapse, she wishes he was taking his last breath. Pete falls down unable to breath. Judy leans over him and he grabs the artifact from her hand and bags it. Myka is back to being not pregnant and she is happy about having a waist and hips again, but Madden has everything rebroken.

Pete and Myka are at the hospital. Pete wants to know how Myka is doing. She says only her romantic comedy would turn into a Stephen King movie. She really wants to know how Pete faked his own death. He realized he could still breath even after Judy said he couldn’t. Pete thinks maybe the dog tags only work on people you really love. Judy’s Grandpa used it to help his army buddy, Judy used it on Mike and Pete used it on Myka…he stutters that last part. He tries to get out of it but Myka says oh no, you just admitted you love me. He says he also loves fajitas, cage fighting and bald women. She says nice try. He says for the record, when it happens for real she will make a pretty great Mom.

Claudia and Mrs. Frederick arrive at an old folk’s home. Mrs. Frederick smiles at an older man and Claudia asks if that is Mr. Frederick. Mrs. Frederick says yes, it is her grandson. Claudia says but he is old so that means…Mrs. Frederick says her son is long gone. She turns to Claudia and says, not all wonder is endless. Claudia looks happy and sad at the same time.

At the hospital Myka sees Pete looking longingly at a small child being held by its father before we fade to black.

Warehouse 13 airs Monday 9/8c on SyFy