DON’T TRUST THE B–: It’s Just Sex…

As we finally get into this show, it’s nice to see that Chloe and June are talking. But, still miscommunicating about things, like Spring Cleaning not being about feminine wash.

But getting rid of old things of Chloe’s is good. Even if June had to listen to Pastor Jin talking about her love affair with a puppeteer. That lead June to take care of herself (wink wink nudge nudge) and now we’re into a really awkward moment.

Soy Latte guy at the coffee shop is pretty good looking, but he’s not the smartest guy around. June is now learning about the difference between casual sex and relationship sex. With Soy Latte Guy.

James’ partner for Dancing with the Stars is pretty good. Well, she’s got some ideas, and objectifying James is never a bad thing in my book.

Now June has a date with Charles (Soy Latte Guy’s real name), and I can already tell that this is going to end so badly for everyone. He’s not one to just causally sleep with, I can already tell. As June worries about how sex with Charles might go, Chloe lets it slip that she and James made a sex tape five years ago.

Turns out that Pastor Jin has a thing for Rain Man and now that there’s $10,000 of new stuff in Pastor Jin’s office for that tape. Oops, June!

Chloe has to explain to James about the sex tape. James can’t talk to Luther about it (the man doesn’t like straight sex) and so his advisor is June’s mom. That’ll be awkward at some point later. Discussing the merits of porn with all of the new people in June’s life is something I’d rather not have to live through. Robin is now the person to use to gain popular opinions, at least to James.

Charles has a parrot. I’d leave right now. No questions about sex at all. But Charles does some dirty pool and takes his shirt off to get June to stay. Quickly leaving is new for her. I don’t think that text is a booty text, June. That sounded serious in your voice. Clearly I was right. Judy flew aware in the morning after June left. Charles, by the way, you’re an ugly crier and that’s a turn-off to me.

June, run away from Charles, as he’s a crier. Please! Chloe finds June out, and hears all about what June’s done, via Robin.

James knows that this sex tape is horrible, but Chloe has a scorched earth policy and won’t go back there again, unless she’s really drunk.

June has to end her relationship with Charles thanks to Chloe and her recorded conversations. It’s evident that June can’t do casual sex. No matter what Chloe tries to teach her. On the other side, Chloe and James have an awkward time trying to recreate their sex tape from five years before. This sex is not working because Chloe cares about James now. Seems that both Chloe and June have ruined the other for both casual sex and feelings.

At the end, poor James’ sex tape is upstaged by Prince Harry’s own tape. Same story about James and his cologne from right before Hurricane Katrina hit. I really think James as some of the worst luck when it comes to branding.