GLEE: Choke

It’s another episode of Glee and we’ve gone back to Rachel’s voiceover that makes me want to gag on my really good pasta from dinner. You might be a star, Rachel Berry, but why is NYADA waiting until this close to graduate to let you know if you’ve been accepted or not? That seems like the worst time to talk about it–shouldn’t that have been a few months ago?

In a truly awkward transition, Finn starts to worry about not graduating on behalf of Finn. I’m not so thrilled with this story at all.

Can I please keep Roz around so she can sass Santana more? I mean, anyone who can put the smack down on Santana is someone I want to know (before I watch as Santana gets some sort of revenge.) Santana, making fun of Beiste for a black eye, though, that’s not something I’d regularly mess around with, if only because that’s going to make the lesson of the week into a particularly sensitive topic (one I’d like to avoid in my escapist television show.)

Kurt, I don’t know if a song from “[easyazon-link asin=”B0007TKNII”]The Phantom of the Opera[/easyazon-link]” is really the right way to go, but your tunnel vision approach to this audition is equally scary as it is outdated.

So by not getting into your geography teacher’s pants, you’re going to sing “[easyazon-link asin=”B000002KE5″]School’s Out[/easyazon-link]” Puck? Is that really the best set of ideas out there? I don’t actually think so. It also makes me wonder why it’s taken three seasons for the show to hit this particular classic, especially for Puck. I’d have thought it should have been around in S1. I could do without the Alice Cooper eye makeup though (nothing quite tops the moment from Cougar Town the other week.).

It’s a good thing when the girls in this intervention don’t think domestic violence is a good thing, but I worry that this lesson is going to hit on the wrong note very quickly. Empowering women through songs advocating abuse…that’s a new idea.

Finn, your concern for Puck is really touching, but is it a good idea to do it in the locker room. I hope all the guys are good at getting Puck back, though.

Rachel, your pep talk to Kurt makes so much sense, though I could really do without Phantom, no lie.

“Cell Block Tango” is one of my favorite songs from [easyazon-link asin=”B00006RIO7″]Chicago[/easyazon-link], and I’ve seen it enough times in high school ‘Best of Broadway’ shows to know this version of the song won’t be the version I want to see. If the intercut moments are truth, I feel so horrible for Beiste right now. Roz had a really good point, though. Couter, you’re an ass, there’s no question about it. Can we just get rid of him now? Beiste, please leave him! I don’t care if you’re worried that no one else will love you, you leave that guy for hitting you.

In another moment of it took three years, we’re finally meeting Puck’s dad. Isn’t that just a little late.

Finn had an elaborate plan to save Finn and then it doesn’t get put into action because Puck’s dad shows up. Puck, why did you give your dad $500 without thinking of LA.

Hello Whoop! You’re on this show now. I don’t know how I feel about this. Kurt’s nerves are going to either save him or doom him. I should be focusing on Kurt’s song, but all I see is that the girls are wearing Regionals outfits from last season. At least Carmen liked the choice (that’s not to say that I didn’t, but I think I tune out Kurt just as much as I try to tune out Finn and Rachel storylines.)

After talking about not wanting to sing “[easyazon-link asin=”B00005V3WI”]Don’t Rain on My Parade[/easyazon-link]”, you really decide to sing it, Rachel? What is this even? Are you trying to sabotage yourself? How is it possible to forget that song from her.

While trying to help Puck study for his geography class, Finn lets it drop that Rachel’s dads are sitting shiva for her. Oh my love! But that moment is lost as soon as Puck starts to sing “The Rain in Spain”. I’m all for a [easyazon-link asin=”B000002AW2″]My Fair Lady[/easyazon-link] song being on the show again, but of all of the other ones, we had to go with this one? Also, it’s that song in some sort of odd headbanger homage.

Beiste, you’re an amazing woman to tell these girls what happened to you, and I really hope that someone in the group takes the message to heart. The girls all know a bit too much in the moment, but that’s okay.

Puck, using “The Rain in Spain” to get you through this exam is precious. It’s oddly reminding me of Weevil from [easyazon-link asin=”B000SULWJA”]Veronica Mars[/easyazon-link] right now. Can he please get to walk across the stage?

Girls, it’s a good call to sing Florence Welch, but “[easyazon-link asin=”B005QI4TP8″]Shake It Out[/easyazon-link]” always makes me want to curl into a ball and weep. Beiste, please only be home to leave a note and get out. (Oops, I wrote too soon. 🙁 )

At least now I feel vindicated for worrying about this audition being so late for someone. Rachel, I have to wonder why you couldn’t sing “Cry” instead of “Don’t Rain on My Parade”.

I really would rather cry for Puck right now, who isn’t going to graduate because he failed that geography exam after all that studying. Is it too soon to start a “Noah Puckerman graduates!” chant?