Super Bowl 2011 Commercials: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Listen, I know that I’m not the target demographic for ads running during the Super Bowl. I’m not male, I don’t drink beer or soda, I don’t memorize car specs, and scantily clad women only serve to remind me that I need to spend more time on the treadmill. And yet, the commercials are pretty much the only reason I tune into the Big Game. So what were the highlights this year? Here’s one Nice Girl’s take:

Best Bait and Switch:
GoDaddy spokeswomen Danica Patrick and Jillian Michaels hype the new GoDaddy.co spokeswoman as the camera lovingly shows said woman’s curves, only to reveal that those curves belong to Joan Rivers. Millions of men just experienced brain/fantasy short circuits.

Best Use of Bieber:
While illustrating how quickly technology changes, Best Buy gives us the hilarious image of Ozzie Osborne asking, “What’s a Bieber?”

Best Use of Kenny G (Ever):
I don’t know that the insanely wealthy actually listen to Kenny G, but watching him try not to burst out laughing while playing whatever that instrument is was enough to make me appreciate his presence in the world.

Best Use of My Tax Dollars:
A beautifully shot ad for Chrysler, bailed out by a federal loan, was an ode to Detroit that had to make that city’s residents feel proud. Props to Eminem for continually supporting his hometown.

Best Homage:
FOX decided to advertise tomorrow night’s episode of House with an homage to the Mean Joe Green ad from the 1970 Super Bowl, but with a very House-ian twist. I chortled.

Best Suck Up to TV Fans:
The NFL knows that we’re not all watching for the game, so they decided to give some of our most enduring TV icons NFL memorabilia to help us couch potatoes connect to the sports fans. Runner Up: Chevy’s homage to Lassie.

Best Geek Out:
Optima wants you to know that their new vehicle is desirable to the average American, cops, the filthy rich, villians, aliens, Poseidon, and the Mayans. Runner up: The mini-Vader VW ad. It would be “best” except the full version was leaked online last week.

Weakest Return of an Iconic Pitchman:
Really, Verizon? That’s how you bring back “can you hear me now” guy?

Creepiest Bordering-on-Stalker Feature:
Some car now gives you the ability to check Facebook status updates while driving. Because waiting 5 minutes until you get home to find out what she thought of you is for losers.

Most Insensitive to an Entire Country:
Groupon inexplicably decided to use the political and social turmoil in Tibet to pimp their deal-of-the-day service. And for some reason Timothy Hutton thought it was worth lending his talents to do so. I don’t think the point of the ad was to offend me to the point of deleting my Groupon account.

What did you think about this year’s Super Bowl commercials? Favorites? Least favorite?