Looks like Cece is staying over at the loft while the plumbing in her apartment is fixed. We don’t get any time to really talk about that because Jess comes in all excited that she made a breakthrough with a student. She does some sort of mine dance with an 80’s porn bass line showing her breaking through when Schmidt stops her. He points behind her and says, “Bowl!” She has her own Annoyance Bowl next to the Douchebag Jar. She is happy to put the money in though so Nick says it isn’t as satisfying when she is happy about it.
Her breakthrough was with Edgar, he wrote a great story and she couldn’t be more proud.
Winston joins them in the kitchen and runs into Cece at the fridge, like full body contact which takes them by surprise and it doesn’t help matters that they make a big deal about it. Cece wants everyone to know she only felt the side and Winston gets embarrassed and leaves the kitchen.
Schmidt: What the hell is wrong with you just waving that thing around like an idiot.
Later Winston, Schmidt and Jess are sitting on the couch when Nick comes out with Edgar’s story.
“By day I’m a plumber. By night I’m a stalker. I sit in the bushes wearing a gimp costume stalking my prey.”
Do you know what Jess got out of that? He used first person narrative and she is so happy she sings a little.
The story continues:
“My prey is a deer. Her eyes are big, too big. Before she can blink those big eyes I’m stabbing her. I stab and stab. I love stabbing. After all the stabbing I wash my hands in her dark red blood.”
Nick thinks the guy is psychotic but Jess says it is just fiction. Know why? Because there is no such thing as a gimp costume. Schmidt chimes in that she has seen him in one before, they are real. Nick is just worried that Jess isn’t safe. He is going to do some investigating. We all know how well Nick’s plans work out.
Winston finds Schmidt to apologize for the incident with Cece this morning. Schmidt says it is fine, just let it go, it’s just Winston’s pogo. Apparently it’s something Winston has done before, once to Schmidt and twice to Jess to name a few. Winston can’t believe they all talk about this behind his back and accuses Schmidt of being the pogo king before making a grand exit.
In class the next morning Jess is telling them how great their papers were when Nick AKA Julius Pepperwood shows up. He heard Jess was the best teacher and wants to join the class. He even has a little Midwest accent to go with the hat, sunglasses and brightly colored shirt. It is fantastic! He says he is an ex-cop and ex-Marine. He is from Chicago, he emphasizes this by saying he doesn’t like thin crust pizza. I don’t know about you but that is exactly how I tell when people are from Chicago.
Edgar gets there next and Julius Pepperwood gets up and sits right next to him. He questions Edgar on why he is late and hits on Jess a little. The whole time this is going on Jess just keeps saying no, no, no.
Julius leans over to see Edgar drawing a deer being stabbed with a sword. He seems very concerned and tries to get Jess’s attention.
After class Julius grabs Edgar’s bag and throws it on the ground so he can snatch the paper out of his back pocket and steal his notebook. Jess sees this and tries to get it back but it just turns into an awkward situation. Jess asks Edgar if she can see him during office hours to talk about his great story while Julius is standing right behind her – head on her shoulder – trying to grab the notebook and paper from her. When Julius turns to get better phone reception so he can put a note in his calendar Jess and Julius have a silent tug of war behind his back.
Back at the loft Winston gets home where Schmidt confronts him. He knows what his pogo is. Schmidt thinks it is because he dances kind of like a sea snake. If sea snakes dance anything like Schmidt I will be watching sea snake videos like some people watch cat videos. I mean Schmidt even did some hissing. It was wonderful! Winston says that isn’t Schmidt’s pogo.
Schmidt thinks maybe his pogo is his caterpillar eyebrows – which he remedies by shaving them into little points that look like the ones I draw on my dog when I think she needs crazy eyebrows.
Nick is in his room going over Edgar’s notebook, he has it all on a pegboard in a nice little conspiracy theory fashion. Jess isn’t as concerned about that as she is about his using her yarn to make the connections on the board. It’s her one rule, don’t take her yarn. Nick draws her focus back to the creepy drawings of blood covered weapons. He thinks his next move should be to go to Edgar’s house for more proof. This will end well. Jess says she will go with him so she can bail him out of jail when he is arrested for trespassing. I love there over the top yelling at each other fights.
In the bathroom Schmidt is about to cut the mole off his face with a kitchen knife – since that must be his pogo – but Winston stops him. Cece wanders in and asks what a pogo is. Schmidt explains it is what your friends say about you when you leave the room. She nonchalantly says, “Oh like your barnacle toenails?” Needless to say Schmidt looks crushed and Winston looks uncomfortable. Schmidt says they aren’t that bad and pulls off a shoe.
Winston: It looks like an open Swiss Army Knife!
Nick and Jess are outside Edgar’s house. Nick wants to establish a safe word in case something goes down.
Nick: If Pepperwood taught me anything it is never get caught without a safe word.
After not agreeing on using apricots as the safe word they argue their way toward the door. They almost get caught by Julius’s Mom and Nick – who is back to being Pepperwood -pulls Jess up against the side of the house and covers her mouth and eyes to hide her. As they are doing more arguing about how only crazy adults live with their Mothers Julius gets home. Jess and Pepperwood see Julius pull a duffle bag out of the back of his truck and drag it into the shed. Suddenly Jess thinks Edgar is the plumber from his earlier story and Nick was right. Pepperwood wants Jess to say he was right a few more times before they head over to the shed to peer in. Jess’s phone starts to ring and she and Pepperwood take off towards the car. I love when Jess and Nick hang out together.
Nick and Jess get back to the loft to find Winston cutting Schmidt’s toenails with a giant hedge trimmer.
Schmidt: Winston told me you guys make fun of my gremlin toenails. That you call them clickety clacks or Centar boots.
Winston says they all have pogo’s so don’t act so surprised he told Schmidt his. Nick doesn’t think they need to have this conversation but Jess wants to know what her pogo is and Cece sits down at the table needing to know her pogo as well.
Jess’s pogo is she is a know it all. Something she is sure isn’t true. Nick’s is more of a general they don’t think he is going to make it – as in live – since he doesn’t take good care of himself. Schmidt crushes up vitamins and puts them in his food and they all take turn putting money in his pants pockets before they put them in the dryer.
No one will tell Cece what her pogo is though, they say it is a loft thing.
Nick wastes no time getting back into being Pepperwood and taking off for Edgars house alone. He climbs into Edgars shed through a window but he gets stuck. Think Winnie the Pooh when he has had too much honey and can’t get his behind out the door. While hanging halfway through the window Pepperwood sees sketches of what I think is Jess – thanks to the big huge eyes. Pepperwood says this is very bad before calling Jess. He tells Jess Edgar is going to kill her, she is the deer in his story. Unfortunately Jess is at the office and Edgar has just arrived. She yells apricots over and over into the phone. Also unfortunately as soon as she hangs up Nick drops his phone and accidentally kicks the ladder away so he is dangling from the window of the shed.
In the office Edgar is telling Jess he thinks he has an ending to his story but he isn’t sure he is going to get away with it, it’s pretty risky. Jess looks very concerned. Edgar says he based a character in his story on her but the only way it can end is if she dies. Jess whispers apricots and tries to talk Edgar out of killing her character. Her phone rings and Edgar, having heard that ring tone outside his shed yesterday says he has to go. He runs off. Jess answers and tells Pepperwood or maybe it’s Nick now that Edgar is leaving. Nick is just glad she is alive. At that moment Edgar’s Mom hits Nick on the back of the head with a frying pan, knocking him out.
Edgar and his Mother are standing over Nick’s body when Jess charges in. She jumps on Edgars back and tells him to get away from Nick. Edgar’s Mom freaks out and sprays Jess with pepper spray.
Jess: My eyes. My giant eyes.
When they all calm down Edgar can’t believe they thought he was a murderer of people. It was just a story. Jess asks what was in the duffle bag and both Edgar and his Mother yell, “Don’t ask about the duffle bag” Edgar’s Mother even throws in a bitch at the end. That’s how you know she is serious.
Jess says Edgar was her favorite student until she thought he was a murderer. She says Edgar is a good son. Turns out Edgar’s Mom is actually not his Mom, she is his girlfriend. Which they prove by kissing all up in each other’s mouths much to Nick and Jess’s dismay.
The next morning Jess finds Nick in the kitchen he is making bacon by adding butter and salt, it’s his way of taking care of himself. Jess finds another book Nick is writing, “Julius Pepperwood Zombie Detective”.
She reads a little of it and sees Julius’s Girl Friday is named Jessica Night. Nick says it isn’t her.
She then reads, “She was small in stature but not in spunk and a super annoying know it all.
We end the episode with a small grease fire and Winston getting a new pogo.
New Girl airs Tuesday 9/8c on Fox