PSYCH: “Shawn And The Real Girl” Recap

Inspired by The Bachelor, we open to a Psych-styled parody of the series, Paths of Love. The bachelor being selected to give a heart necklace (in place of a rose) doesn’t respond when the bachelorette calls his name, resulting in chaos on the set. The show’s producer goes ballistic, ranting about how much money this is costing him, and everyone scurries about trying to locate the missing Todd. Soon after, at SBPD, Lassiter looks over a file regarding a car accident that left the aforementioned Todd in a coma. Shawn begs to see the file and notices brake fluid by the skid marks in the photos. He doesn’t think it was an accident, but Lassie ignores him. A director with the show, Steve, overhears Shawn’s comments and introduces himself. He had the feeling something wasn’t right and he came to talk to someone about his suspicions. He invites Shawn and Gus to the set so he can fill them in on all he knows.

Gus is delighted to be on the set of a reality show, he’s studied the genre extensively. Steve fills them in on the premise, all the bachelors are guys the bachelorette could have had contact with in the past. The guy in a coma was a model on a billboard outside her office. Shawn only knows one way they can investigate and go unnoticed, they will have to be contestants. Shawn failed to clear that little detail with his significant other, Juliet, so you just know it’s going to come back to bite him in the butt.

Shawn claims to be a heart and sometimes brain surgeon named Shawn Womack. Gus is trying to go the honest route, pharmaceutical salesman with an annulment behind him, and even uses his real name. Melinda wants to know if she can still choose Todd, even though he’s in a coma. The producer, Jay, is furious over the addition of Shawn and Gus, he doesn’t think they’re interesting enough. He sold this show to NBC, and it has to be great. Shawn sees Juliet and Lassiter drive up and he rushes out to meet them. He still hasn’t told Juliet what he’s up to, so he has to tread carefully. Juliet and Lassie are there because Shawn was right, the brakes were tampered with. Shawn is called back to the set for the Single Mingle, and when he is addressed as “Doctor,” Juliet is clued in something is amiss. Shawn’s strategy is to try and lose, otherwise Juliet will kill him. The show’s host, Hilton Fox, gives Gus advice, he should tell her his fiancé died in a skydiving accident, play the tragedy card. The more Shawn tries to turn off Melinda, the more she seems to want him. As Lassiter and Juliet watch Melinda playing with Shawn’s hair on the monitor, Juliet thinks it looks suspiciously like cheating. Gus gets his chance to talk to Melinda alone, but she has eyes only for studly Brody, who didn’t even pack a shirt for his three week stay on the show. As Gus sees her slipping away, he decides Hilton is right and plays the “my fiancé died” card. She still ditches him for Brody, but the seed of the idea has been planted.

Shawn and Gus sneak to the guy’s dorm room to search for clues in their belongings. They find a pair of gloves with brake fluid on them that apparently belong to one of the seemingly nicest guys there, Danny. They search film footage, looking for anyone placing the gloves in Danny’s things, but find nothing. Shawn touches bases with Juliet, who sarcastically apologizes that their investigation is cutting into his dating life. She tells him if he kisses Melinda, he dies. Shawn appears to believe her. Juliet and Lassiter question Danny, who had a creative writing class with Melinda in college. He was the only one who contacted the show personally to ask to be included. They think he’s a stalker and that is his motive for harming other contestants. As he leaves, he runs into Shawn, who has to create a cover excuse and claim he was called in for questioning as well.

At the next heart ceremony, where contestants are given heart necklaces and pledge to protect Melinda’s heart, she gives Brody and Shawn hearts. She then gives Gus one, although she explains that she only gave it to him because she felt bad that he lost his fiancé. That leaves Danny and Mario as the contenders for her last heart, and she’s about to place a necklace around Mario’s neck when Shawn blurts out that Mario has another girlfriend. Mario is a hostile guy, and maybe amped up on steroids. He beats Shawn up a bit. Shawn’s antics work, though, and Melinda gives the heart to Danny, keeping him in the competition where they can keep an eye on him.

Out on the patio, Danny is preparing to grill food when Shawn spies something wrong with the propane connections. He rushes to shove Danny out of the way, and as he does the whole grill explodes in flames. Shawn calls for a doctor to tend to Danny’s busted nose, until someone reminds him he’s a doctor. Shawn notices off to the side of the set, show producer Jay is kissing Melinda. Shawn fills Lassie and Juliet in on the attempt on Danny’s life, and tells them everyone knows Danny is the grill master, so he was the obvious target. Jay tells Lassie and Juliet they are trespassing and orders them off his set. Shawn sneaks out to see them off and tell them about Jay’s seeming romantic interest in Melinda. They see Brody storming away, he’s not sticking around if someone’s trying to kill them. One less guy left to compete for Melinda’s heart, Juliet takes a stab at Shawn by lamenting on the poor choices remaining.

Shawn has a one on one talk with Melinda on camera, and tells her he senses something weighing on her. Gus cuts in before Shawn can question her about Jay, but Gus tries to question her on the subject as well. They go back and forth cutting in on each other, and finally step behind a trestle to argue it out where they promptly knock it down. Melinda thinks they are far more into each other than they are with her. Shawn comes right out and asks her about sleeping with Jay, but she says Jay was just showing her how to “sell” the romance onscreen. She didn’t really kiss him. Steve asks them not to do so much pushing, since they knocked the trestle over. Shawn apologizes and offers to have Gus pay for it, but he tells them it’s not necessary because Jay has everything insured like crazy. That’s interesting information, and Shawn immediately texts it to Juliet who is with Lassiter questioning Jay. He tells them he has sold the show to NBC, he doesn’t need the money, but he has no response when Lassie asks for his contact at NBC. He has been lying about the show being sold.

Melinda has to send either Shawn or Gus packing, and Gus tries his best to keep it from being him. In the end, though, Shawn is given the heart necklace and Gus takes the tearful limo ride goodbye. Shawn and Melinda share a romantic dance as the cameras run, but he stops it to take a call from Juliet. She tells him they arrested Jay, so now he can get off the show. When he seems reluctant, because he thinks he can win this thing, Juliet lets him know it wasn’t a suggestion. Shawn returns to his dance with Melinda, and as she tells him about romantic anonymous notes someone wrote to her in college, he recognizes the words as those he had heard Danny saying earlier. Danny was her anonymous admirer.

Shawn calls Juliet in to view the recording of he and Melinda dancing, to prove that he made the right choices and was the perfect gentleman. In the video, Melinda tries to kiss him and he pulls away. He confesses to Melinda that he’s not a doctor, and that he has a girlfriend. He tells her he was brought in to solve a crime, but he also knows that the love she seeks is real and much closer than she thinks. He brings Danny in and tells her that it was Danny that wrote the notes and he was the only one there that truly wanted to protect her heart. As they watch the video, Shawn notices a glitch in film, as though something was cut out. He asks Steve to bring up footage from the day Danny was attacked, and they see a thermos suddenly appear. They then look over the uncut footage of Danny’s room again and see the cameraman, Hank, enter the room and plant the gloves. Hank the camera guy is the one trying to kill them, problem being that he is currently filming Danny and Melinda on a skydiving date. They all go after them and manage to stop the airplane from taking off. Hank had pitched a show to Jay called Passing Ships, and it was exactly the same premise as Paths of Love. Jay stole Hank’s idea and cut him out. Hank didn’t know that Jay had been lying about selling the show.

On the Paths of Love Reunion Show, they check in to see where they all are now. The happy couple, Danny and Melinda, are stunned to see Todd has recovered from his injuries and is back in tip top condition. Danny has to physically separate him from Melinda, who looks like she isn’t quite as sure about choosing Danny as she was before Todd walked onstage. Eventually Todd gives up on Melinda and takes his seat. It doesn’t take him long to recover from the rejection, he catches a glimpse of Juliet and moves his flirtation to her.

Psych airs Wednesdays at 10/9c on USA.