NEW GIRL Recap: The Right Thing

Stop me if you’ve heard this one, a guy you’ve hung out with a few times doesn’t return your texts so you sext him and when he doesn’t respond you go to confront him only to find out he has died. Yep, Jess’s brunch date has passed away and apparently the right way to respond to said passing of a guy you went out with once is to attend the memorial.

Jess ropes Cece and Coach into attending this guy whose name I have yet to commit to memory’s memorial. It turns out to be a very small family gathering, they stand out. What could possibly go wrong? For one thing Pete (his name was Pete) was a liar. He has a girlfriend, who is there, and he told her he was a sports agent. A detail Coach finds unbelievable and I would too except in walks JJ Watt. He’s the baddest mother shut your mouth Defensive End in the NFL.

Things are going awkward but well when Pete’s phone is mentioned. Coach and Jess go to find it in the garage only to get interrupted by JJ. He needs the phone as well, not because he sexted Pete though, in case you were wondering. To cover why they are all out there when Pete’s girlfriend finds them JJ brilliantly says they are out there because they like to sing about sports food. He launches into a touching rendition of Hot Dog. Stop me if you’ve heard it. Nothing? No one?

Also Nick has an investment idea, buying 10% of the bar they all hang out in. Now they just need to come up with $20,000.00. Thankfully Schmidt’s Mom is in town. She owes Schmidt his Bar Mitzvah money. Something she will gladly give him when he finally writes his Bar Mitzvah thank you notes.

You ever meet someone and think, “What must their parents have been like?” well we are about to find out. He takes a sedative when he hears she has landed in LA – that’s the kind of relationship they have. She is everything you can imagine and more. There is no need to wonder how Schmidt became so neurotic.

Winston and Nick sit down with Schmidt to write the cards only now Schmidt can’t remember who all attended since it was so long ago. Thankfully Winston reminds them he is a cop; he calls his partner over to help them figure it out. She has declined all other offers to hang out so Winston is being weirder than usual in her presence. They watch the video of the Bar Mitzvah and slowly interrogate the names of the guest out of him while Nick writes the letters.

Schmidt’s Mom tears apart his Bar Mitzvah notes and he loses it. He finally stands up to her before storming out.

Of course everything comes crashing down and they end up at the bar drowning the craziness of the day. Schmidt’s Mom shows up there as well, she is going to let go a little and give Schmidt the money.

New Girl airs Tuesday 9/8c on Fox