NEW GIRL Recap: Spiderhunt

Nick apparently can cook a sauce. A fabulous sauce. A sauce so good Schmidt is having Nick make it for Fawn who is coming over to the loft for the first time. Let that sink in – Nick is cooking for Schmidt.

Cece is avoiding Schmidt, due to the liking him and all. Winston is so pleased to be in the know it’s almost sad. Cece is also avoiding Jess, because if Jess finds out she will meddle. That never ends well. Unfortunately Cece can’t avoid Jess for ever and she agrees to come by the loft. Before she gets there Winston, who might be a worse secret keeper than Nick, let’s Jess in on the Cece liking someone secret.

Because Cece won’t tell Jess who it is that she likes Jess assumes it is Nick that Cece has a crush on. She’s pretty upset, but of course she has to meddle, and in doing so gets into one of those conversations where one person is talking about something and the other is talking about something completely different. In this case Jess is talking about Cece and Nick and Nick is talking about getting a popcorn machine for the bar. It’s a debacle and Cece finally comes clean to Jess.

Schmidt is setting up for his date when he sees a spider. A tiny little spider. He is so scared he, “turns into a cartoon elephant of yesteryear who just saw a mouse.” It’s not a far off visual. Schmidt demands a spiderhunt. The gang wants him to knock this off but Schmidt won’t have it. He must have the spider hunted and terminated.

Now the details of a spiderhunt are this: There are teams of two, a jarman and a smoosher. It’s all very high tech. “Find the spider, kill the spider, mount the spider’s head on the roof so all of the other spiders know.”

Fawn shows up as the spider starts to crawl across Schmidt’s face. Thankfully she is there to take care of it. Schmidt is screaming in an octave reserved for small children. “Don’t go up the spout if you can’t handle the rain spider!”

Some Ingredients in Nick’s Sauce:
Mustard
Crackers
Mayonnaise
Bologna
A murder of peppercorn
“That flat Jew bread”

New Girl airs 9/8c on Fox