SCORPION Recap: Love Boat

I love holiday theme shows. Love them! I’m downright giddy to see what Scorpion has planned. Shall we? (After skipping over the never ending opening sequence)

We start with some bad guys stealing rockets from guards/cops on their way to Pendleton. I should probably be most upset by the fact that they kill the guards but to be honest what is bothering me is the fact that the man in charge has his hair in a bun on the top of his head. Nope. Not a good look. Do not like it.

Over at Scorpion Headquarters Walter is hacking into a reservation site so that he can make dinner plans. He is taking Paige out to dinner to go over office protocol information. Of course Toby is skeptical and highly suspicious. Valentine’s Day dinner. Nice restaurant. A week after Drew signed a month long contract to play out of state. I’m sure it’s all just a coincidence. “Should I get a fire extinguisher because your pants are on fire, liar liar.”

Gallo shows up to tell the team about the rocket theft. The man suspected of masterminding this robbery is a man named Christoff, and like all super special criminals on TV he has never been photographed. It’s convenient really. Christoff is making his escape via a luxury cruise ship. The passengers are the 1%’s 1%. The plan is to install GPS tracking chips into the stolen rockets so they can track who Christoff sells them to.

More reservation hacking ensues and Walter, Sylvester, Gallo and Paige are set to pose as guests on the ship. Sylvester is going as the rich guy, Paige is his wife, Gallo is their trainer and Walter is their valet/butler. Robert Patrick isn’t exactly in the same shape he was when he played the Terminator but I can see him being a trainer. He still has it.

Walter figures it will take less than 30 minutes to hack the rockets and they can be off the ship before it departs. I doubt things will go so smoothly. Almost immediately Walter and Gallo get trapped below deck. This doesn’t sit well with Sylvester, who hates water, can’t swim and keeps referencing movies like Titanic. Things just keep getting worse when Walter runs into an ex-girlfriend (the one he broke up with in the first episode) and Paige and Sylvester are invited to eat lunch with the Captain at his table.

Did I already say things get worse, because before long even more goes wrong. Gallo and Walter are found in the cargo hold and the guy who finds them manages to get away. Then the Captain stops the boat and has all of the passengers gather in a ballroom. It doesn’t look good and before you know it bun boy is there waving a gun around. His hair still looks ridiculous. I’d like to know if he even owns a hairbrush.

Walter has to stop disarming the rockets to go save Paige and Sylvester. Seconds before Paige is to be shot Walter tries to negotiate with bun boy. It sort of works. Walter gets Christoff up to the top deck where he has the rockets. Only up on the deck Christoff gets the upper hand and grabs his rockets. (that’s not a euphemism) He aims for the Navy rescue chopper headed their way. Gallo and Walter make a run for it and get a hold of Happy. She has Ralph (who is a better hacker) hack into a nearby Japanese destroyer and uses one of their missiles to take out the one headed towards the Navy helicopter. It’s less ridiculous than bun boys hair so I’ll allow it.

In a twist, anyone who watches TV would see coming, the Captain of the ship turns out to be Christoff. He has his men grab Paige and plans to escape in the waiting life boat. Walter tells Captain Christoff to take him instead and the Captain agrees. Paige is left on the ship with Gallo while Walter makes his decent into the life boat.

Sylvester finds his sea legs and actually does a dive off of the ship into the life boat. It knocks them out of the boat. Gallo uses the distraction to take out bun boy before jumping into the water to save Sylvester who can’t swim.

Of course the day is saved, the good guys prevail and the bad guys were apprehended.

While the rest of the team is on the boat doing their thing Toby and Happy stay behind and watch Ralph. He likes a girl and is being shy about it. Toby makes a few comments about liking a certain girl and Happy counters with maybe she likes having him as a best friend and he needs patience. In the end Toby and Happy almost share a kiss while helping make a special valentine for Ralph’s crush.

Back at the office, and on advice from his ex-girlfriend, Walter backs out of the dinner with Paige, he gives her the weekend off instead. Darn it! I don’t need them to end up in bed together (yet) but I’m going to need them to acknowledge some feelings.

Scorpion airs Monday 9/8c on CBS