NEW GIRL Recap: Julie Berkman’s Older Sister

The boys are all getting on each other’s nerves but Jess doesn’t have time for this nonsense and it is nonsense. Nick has a crystal bowl full of orange juice pulp – that kind of nonsense. Her Dad and his new girlfriend are on their way over. They need to tighten up and find the french press for heaven sakes!

Cece stops by for an afternoon of fun and excitement, apparently Jess hasn’t been very nice to her Dad’s girlfriends over the years. Cece can’t wait to see what Jess does this time. Jess insists she is going to behave. That is until she sees who her Dad’s new girlfriend is. Ashley. Ashley is Julie Berkman’s older sister. In fact they all went to high school together. Cece is very amused. Jess, not so much. “Trashly Berkman” as they refer to her, “She sexually intercourse my high school boyfriend…underneath the bleachers…while I was sitting on those bleachers.” After a momentary internal struggle Jess decides she is going to do nothing. After all people change.

Trashy Berkman is going on about how much E she did in the early 2000’s when Cece interrupts; she is beyond curious how Trashy and Jess’s Dad met. Jess’s Dad is in an all Pharmacist band, she heard them sing and that was it. Love at first listen. It gets better – Jess’s Dad loves Trashy and is going to ask her to marry him. Jess can barely even breathe.

Jess is ready to start a Take Down Trashy plan. Her first idea is to right her Dad a letter about her feelings. Cece thinks maybe they should just take her phone and go through it. They find dirty texts that turn out to be from a client, Trashy is a sex therapist. If you can’t do….teach? On a side note Jess’s fists are named Crabtree and Evelyn.

After being confronted Trashy storms out and Jess starts to feel bad. Jess finds her Dad downstairs and apologizes. She also tries to apologize to Trashly too but she says she needs space. Chasing Trashly down Jess gets knocked over by a bicyclist. Her Dad wants to take Jess to the hospital but Jess insists her Dad propose before anything else happens. Trashy says yes and as jess puts it later the wedding will be like going to prom with her Dad’s family. That should be interesting.

The side story in this episode involves Schmidt trying to land a sponge account at work. He needs the account so he can make more money and get his own room like a grown up. Hijinks such as rigging a focus group ensue but in the end Schmidt gets the account. The tag line for the pitch, “The dirtiest thing in your room should be her.” It’s as cheesy and ridiculous as it sounds.

New Girl airs Tuesday 9/8c on Fox