NEW GIRL Recap: The Last Wedding

New Girl is back! Was it as funny as season one? No. Was it better than last season? Yes.

Summer is wedding season and the gang have attended eleven so far. They have one more wedding to attend but Jess is tired. She is considering having a party for herself, one that showcases how seriously she has committed herself to knitting. Schmidt says no way, “I hate that you knit. It makes me angry and scared all at the same time.”

Schmidt calls the boys together, except Winston who is on the couch too sore from the Police Academy to join them. Because somehow Winston is the odd man out – still. The boys gather in Jess’s room to hear Schmidt give a pep talk about how weddings are full of sexual opportunities. This is their last chance to hook up and they are all going to hook up. Otherwise they will be forced to, “gamble on the unknown contents of a bulky sweater.” because fall is right around the corner. Schmidt has a way with words, doesn’t he?

The wedding doesn’t go as planned. Cece shows up so Schmidt is distracted, so distracted that Nick actually considers doing a four way with him and two of the bridesmaids. Now that was a fun conversation. It included phrases such as, “Fog of war”, “I’m soft like a lady” and “What if I get a surprise on me? What if I’m fighting the war and boom there’s a surprise on me.” Oh and, “I’m in steerage and I’m rowing and I’m rowing and you’re up in the crow’s nest.” They don’t end up doing the group sex though because Nick has rough hands. Schmidt is quite appalled by this.

Winston is out of the action because he is too sore to barely move from his seat. Cece just broke up with her boyfriend, the adorable Buster, so she’s not in the race to get laid either. Coach has hooked up with so many women over the course of the summer that a good number of people at the wedding are mad at him. He’s out.

That leaves Jess. She sees Ted, the best man and is smitten. Jess is hitting on the best man when Kat shows up (Jessica Biel) she hits on Ted as well. When Ted goes to talk to someone for a moment Kat lays it out there for Jess. She wants Ted and she is awesome.

Jess tells the guys what’s up. She wants the boys to help her with strategy. Coach’s strategy is to be, “A gorgeous black man with the body of an action figure.” So maybe not for Jess. Cece tells her to go dance, that will tell Ted how she has sex. Cece starts to move and Schmidt is visibly smitten. Jess tries a few moves and it looks more like she is making out with an invisible person or maybe that she has lost some of her motor skills. Winston’s strategy is to be there. Just be wherever Ted is. He calls it the Joe Biden. Jess is going to Biden Ted’s ass.

It doesn’t go as planned, as nothing does on a sitcom, and Nick finds Jess hiding in a stall in the men’s room. She went in there to extreme Biden Ted but it didn’t work out too well. Nick tells Jess any guy who isn’t into Jessica Day has something wrong with him now get back out there. He tells Jess to be herself prompting a Tina Turner impression. Nick doesn’t think that is what he meant.

Jess finds Ted talking to Kat while the group looks on. She admits she is out of moves so she just starts telling things about herself, such as she cries when newscasters wish each other happy birthday. Kat pulls out a picture of herself naked. Ted can’t decide. He ends up taking so long everyone else has left and the room is being cleaned. Kat and Jess agree the moment has passed.

The gang all goes home together where they drink and throw out all of this summer’s wedding invitations that were cluttering the fridge.

New Girl airs Tuesday 9/8c on Fox