NEW GIRL Recap: Winston’s Birthday

New Girl starts off the morning after the last episode. Nick wakes up to find Jess still asleep in his bed. He touches her skin as if to make sure she is real and gives her shoulder a kiss before she wakes up. They both smile and aren’t quite sure what to say. He tells her to stay right there, he is going to do something.
As she is lying in bed he is making her breakfast in the kitchen. Ahhh…Nick is a make you breakfast in bed kind of guy. Who knew? He’s not very good at it though, runny scrambled eggs, a grapefruit he tore in half with his hands because he couldn’t figure out how to serve it and a piece of pie. It’s the thought that counts. He comes around the corner carrying the breakfast tray only to run right into Jess’s dad Bob. Bob says Wilson let him in. Winston is standing there shaking his head. When questioned, Nick says the food is for Wilson. Winston says is it because it is my birthday? Nick didn’t remember it was Winston’s birthday but he says sure. Winston takes the food and says he will eat it anyway.

Bob is there for Cece’s wedding, he wouldn’t miss it. Jess comes out of Nick’s room and seeing her dad gets a wide eyed look of shock on her face before giving him a big hug.

Schmidt and Elizabeth are renewing their relationship at her place across town. Schmidt wants to know how she likes his new body. She says she liked his old body. We see how they met, she asked him to dance at a college party. When he said people will laugh she threatened to punch them in the penis if they do. They start to dance and it is a glorious train wreck of motion. Back in present day Schmidt says she never did care what anyone thought, she still doesn’t. Schmidt says he loves that about her. He invites her to have lunch with him later today.

Back at the loft Jess is telling Nick her dad can never ever know about them. He will kill Nick if he finds out. Jess is about to ask her dad to go for a walk when her phone rings. It is an old teacher friend of hers. There is an opening at her new school and if she is available today she can come down and meet some people. Jess of course doesn’t want to leave her dad alone with Nick but the teacher insists she has to be there in thirty minutes. Her dad says he will stay with Nick. Fantastic.

While Jess is driving to her impromptu interview she calls Cece. She is going to be a little late to her party but she will make it eventually. Cece is stressed and seems about to cry. Jess tells her to send her guests to their hotels, Winston will pick up her wedding attire while she goes to get her hands hennaed and Jess will meet up with her later after the interview.
Jess calls Winston who wonders if she has something she wants to wish him. She tells him to pick up Cece’s wedding clothes and drop them at Cece’s place. Winston thinks this is a ruse to get him to his surprise party. I fear he is going to be disappointed.
Jess gets to the school to find out she isn’t having an interview, she is subbing for a class of very loud out of control teens. She looks as scared as she should be.

Nick and Bob are on the roof drinking a beer when Bob wants to talk about whether Nick has a girl or not. Nick gets very defensive and yells he doesn’t want to talk about this. Bob looks a little hurt though so Nick caves. He says yes there is a girl. She is tall, fat, no bangs and has beady little eyes. Her name is Yolanda Winston.

Elizabeth gets to Schmidt’s work a little early and surprises him at his desk. One of Schmidt’s bosses comes by and after seeing her calls Elizabeth spooky. Elizabeth threatens to, “Spook the ass fat right out of her lips” if she calls her spooky again. Schmidt looks really uncomfortable. His boss asks Schmidt if he knows her and Schmidt says no. Elizabeth raises his eyebrows and says, fine and leaves. For Schmidt’s part he does go after her almost immediately and catches her at the elevator. He apologizes while she yells and hits him with her purse. She says she likes who she is and so do other people. She turned down a date for that evening to hang out with him but now she is going to text him back and accept. She doesn’t care what Schmidt thinks and she says goodbye as the elevator doors close.

In the classroom Jess has given up on trying to get the kids to listen to her and thankfully for her the bell rings for lunch. She is about to leave when the principle corners her to talk about his philosophy on learning and goats. Yep, goats.

Winston, thinking he is going to a surprise birthday party, shows up at Cece’s in an Eddie Murphy from Raw leather jacket and pants. It’s an interesting look considering it is 2013. Only Cece is there though, it being her apartment and all. She wakes from her nap and when Winston sees her he asks her what is on her face. She fell asleep on her newly hennaed hands and it has transferred to her face.

It’s lunch time over at the loft and Nick and Bob are bonding over making sandwiches. Nick thinks he is a genius. Nick asks him what he should do about Yolanda Winston; he doesn’t know what she wants. Bob says Nick needs to figure out what he wants. This prompts Nick to say Bob should have his own podcast he is so smart. Jess calls Nick to see what is going on back at the loft and when he says they are talking about girls she freaks out and spins the car into a u-turn. She doesn’t get very far though before Cece calls with her henna emergency so she whips the car around again and rushes over to Cece’s. Jess thinks she can get the henna off with cotton balls and olive oil. Instead of coming off her face though, the ink ends up spreading around to look like a beard. Jess wonders if Cece has considered wearing a face veil.

Nick is still talking girls with Bob. He says Yolanda really means a lot to him and he doesn’t want to screw it up. He’s worried he is a lot like his dad and his dad was a mess. Bob says any girl would be happy to have Nick. For some reason this prompts Nick to come clean with Bob about who Yolanda really is. It does not go as Nick plans. Bob yells he will kill Nick and chases him through the loft.

Jess is still trying to figure out what to do with Cece’s face. She calls the tattoo place. Unfortunately there is no way to get the henna off. Jess takes a moment to share that she slept with Nick last night and it might be the start of something amazing but Cece is really more concerned with the fact that she now looks like she has a full beard.

Back at the loft Bob is on the couch breathing a little too heavily. Nick comes out of his room with a croquette mallet. Bob tells him to put it down; he isn’t going to hurt him. Jess gets home and when she finds out Nick told her dad she is not happy. Bob asks her what is going on, is she behind on the rent or something, and she says she doesn’t know what is going on. They haven’t had a chance to talk. Bob insults Nick a little more and Jess defends him. Bob says Nick isn’t his father he is a younger Bob and he isn’t good enough for Jess. Of course Nick says he has to go to his room because he doesn’t do confrontation and since Jess has to go back to school Bob is left in the living room by himself.

In the classroom Jess has had enough of her class’s shenanigans. She stands up on the desk and yells that this day has gone downhill quickly. The class silently gets into their seats. She even shares that she likes her roommate but she can’t date her dad. She sits down and quietly says life is messy. One of the kids, Miguel, offers Jess a cigarette. It seems like a nice school.

Cece’s fiancé is over at her apartment with her. Jess called him and told him Cece needed him so he came right over. He really is a good guy. Cece says they can’t get married while she looks like this but he thinks if this is their biggest problem they are going to be fine.

That night Elizabeth is out on a very awkward date when Schmidt shows up. He is wearing his fat clothes. Like a whole outfit of clothes that would have been his size when he first met Elizabeth. When is the last time he wore a sweatshirt do you think? That sweatshirt is one Elizabeth bought him. He kept it all these years. He asks her to dance but she tells him to go home. Schmidt says he won’t go home, he wants to be with her and he doesn’t care who knows. Elizabeth takes his hand and they do this really terrible dancing, it’s like the running man on crack.

Jess gets home to find her dad blowing up an air mattress, he is insisting on sleeping in the hall between Nick and Jess. That night Jess is in here bed when she gets a text from Nick that says roof. She sneaks out of her room to find Nick on the roof with the breakfast he wanted to make her that morning. There is even a flower in a beer bottle for decoration. She hopes her dad didn’t get into his head. They don’t have time to talk about it though because Schmidt and Elizabeth show up with a telescope. They are going to match constellations with the moles on Schmidt’s back. Winston is next, he gets up there and he thinks they remembered, finally. He thinks they are all there to celebrate his birthday. Schmidt sets up the telescope for him and they all join in wishing him a happy birthday.

New Girl airs Tuesday 9/8c on Fox