NEW GIRL Recap: Confessions of a Room Friend

A Fish Called Cece: Schmidt isn’t doing well post Cece getting engaged. In fact he has taken to drinking melon liquor directly from the bottle. Winston says he will take care of this and takes Schmidt to the aquarium so he can clear his head. That’s not what happens though, Schmidt sees a Lion Fish and becomes infatuated. Schmidt decides he must own the fish but the aquarium worker tells him it is an illegal fish to own. Schmidt doesn’t take it too well, grabs the workers fish hat off his head and Winston has to pull him away.
Schmidt goes home and buys an aquarium, he is going to get a Lion fish own way or another and he wants Winston’s help. Winston feels bad for Schmidt, dons a wet suit and heads to the ocean with a net and a Tupperware. They barely get in the water when Schmidt is stung on the face by a jelly fish. Winston unfortunately can’t pee on him since he had just gone in the ocean but he does offer to go number two if Schmidt thought that would help. Winston gets Schmidt to the hospital and while he is passed out Cece shows up with a Lion fish. Schmidt called her from the ambulance rambling about needing a Lion fish and she knows some people. Winston thanks Cece but says her being engaged is killing Schmidt and he thinks Cece should leave before Schmidt wakes up. Schmidt needs some space.
At the end of the episode Schmidt admits that the fish was a substitute for Cece and he has to let her go…he does so by letting the fish back out into the ocean.

Guys Night: Nick is starting to act responsible and Jess is finding it very very attractive. Nick did laundry for heaven sakes. Jess admits to Cece that she wants Nick. It’s obvious to Cece (and us viewers) since all Jess does when Nick is talking is giggle, star longingly and play with her hair.
Nick has a new manager at the bar and he wants to impress them by coming up with a promotion. Instead of Girls Night he decides to have Guys Night. He needs Jess to drive him to the hardware store. Once there Jess has to stand in front of the air conditioners she is so turned on by Nick and his list of supplies.
Nick’s List of Supplies:
Long Shafted Drive Drill
New Nut Wrench
Quick Hardening Caulk
Lube for drill shaft
While watching Nick take big pipes down from a higher shelf she is distracted and gets hit in the chin with a 2×4. Nick gets her home where she promptly takes one too many pain pills. She is loopy. When Nick comes into her room with soup for her she tells Nick she wants to have sex with him. She does a Judy Garland voice and grabs for him, pulling him onto the bed. Unfortunately she head-butts him in the eye and as he falls back he burns his hand in her soup. He quickly leaves her room.
He asks the guys what it means when a girl says something on pain pills. Then she starts talking about doors and how he thought that door was closed so he tried another door but if this door is open it’s the door he wants.
Turns out Nick slept with his new boss, Shane (Odette Annable) but he is going to break things off with Shane before Jess can find out.
That night at Guy’s Night the bar is packed. Shane tries to kiss Nick as Jess shows up. Nick sends her away but she comes back and slaps Nick’s ass, then she kisses Nick while he tries to worm out of it. Jess looks on in open mouthed horror/awe. Shane says they are sleeping together and Nick apologizes, which upsets Shane. Shane asks who Jess is and Jess says, “Yeah who am I?” Nick says she is Jess, his room friend. Jess leaves and Nick runs after her.
At the loft Jess is eating ice cream when Nick gets there. He starts to explain but she tells him to shut up. Jess makes fun of Shane’s name but Nick won’t let her off the hook. He tells her what she said when she was on the pills. Nick says if it was just pain pill talk they will forget it but if it isn’t just talk he needs to know. She says she did want to have sex with him but not now that she knows about his boss. They start to fight; he calls her a gold digger for liking him when he was being responsible and getting things done. They step closer to each other Jess leans in and kisses Nick. He kisses her back and bumps her jaw which hurts her; she bumps into his black eye which hurts him. They keep fighting with each other while kissing, he even yells at her to take her clothes off right now and she would have except he chooses that moment to accidentally break the aquarium. They storm off yelling at each other and slam their respective bedroom doors. They come back out moments later to kiss again before yelling at each other and going back into their rooms.

Their back and forth, the kissing, the looks they give each other are quite possibly the hottest thing I’m watching on Network TV right now.  I know, The Following just did a shower threesome but I much prefer Nick and Jess fighting and making out.

On a side note does seeing Odette Annable make anyone miss Breaking In or is that just me?

New Girl airs Tuesday 9/8c on Fox