SUBURGATORY Recap: Junior Secretary’s Day

Tessa is at Noah’s dental practice being told she has to have her wisdom teeth pulled and lucky for her they can fit her in tomorrow on Junior Secretary’s Day. I assume Junior Secretary’s Day is one of those only celebrated in Chatswin holidays. The Junior Secretary’s seem to be taking it very seriously.
“Just because we do sub-secretarial work doesn’t mean we are sub-human.”

Over at the Shay’s Fred is getting ready to head to a Rhode Island since he won a contest at work. Shelia seems overly excited about Fred winning this work competition every year and after a group hug he takes off.

Dallas is with George looking at a holographic photo of them set in crystal. George says he loves it. Dallas thinks that is the perfect time to bring up their relationship and how she wants to take it to the next level – keeping things at each other’s houses. George is pretty sure he can handle that. Awww…they are moving forward as a couple.

Later that night at dinner George hears a noise coming from the basement and flashlight in hand goes to check it out. He finds rat droppings and while taking them out to the garbage he runs into Sheila Shay who tells him the only way to get rid of rats is poison gas. She even has a case of rat bombs that she purchased on Ebay from Australia. Of course she does. She offers to give one to George but he declines.

The next morning Tessa is coming out of anesthesia and she is having a fabulous reaction. We are talking paranoid and drooling blood. Don’t worry though, Noah is 80% sure she will be fine.
George gets Tessa home where she continues the crazy drug induced ramblings until George hears more noise from the basement. This time armed with a broom he heads down into the basement. He comes across Fred Shay and in his surprise smacks him with his broom.
Oh and did I mention Fred is dressed in a silver lead apron, a tin foil hat and a metal brace/basket thing on one of his legs?
George wants to know what is going on and Fred calmly explains – as if this is normal – he is hiding from Shelia for a few days and since they share a psychic connection he has to cover himself in those clothes to keep her from peering into his soul.
Fred: She’s not unlike the all seeing eye of Sauron.
Fred didn’t win the Salesman of the Year award this year and it is the one thing Shelia is proud of him for, he can’t tell her. George thinks she will understand. I think George has forgotten who Shelia is.

At school Ryan is standing by his locker, a locker which houses a head to waist photo of a shirtless Ryan. I imagine it is exactly how my locker would have been decorated had I gone to school with Ryan Shay.
Lisa walks up to give Ryan Tessa’s homework, she thinks it will be a good opportunity for Ryan to be alone with Tessa. Ryan isn’t so sure Tessa wants to see him.
Ryan: I have been giving her some space and she’s been taking it

Unfortunately back at the Altman household Tessa runs into Fred in the kitchen. Since she is still having an allergic reaction to the drugs and she thinks he is one of the aliens come to steal her teeth, or something like that. She flings juice at him and yells some things. Then she sees the hologram of George and Dallas and assumes Fred has captured them in the crystal. She flees the room.

A little later Noah shows up at the Altman’s to check on Tessa who has gone all out Carrie from Homeland with a little David Rosen from Scandal with a wall of conspiracies, although she has thrown in her own twist, a tin foil hat. Noah is a little concerned and understandably so, he grabs her pills and takes off.

Dallas shows up to bring Tessa a milkshake and George in an attempt to hide Fred gets rid of Dallas without even letting her in the door and while she is on her way back to the car she notices the hologram of the two of them in the garbage. She doesn’t look pleased.

George confronts Fred, he can’t keep doing this but of course things are about to get more weird. A truck pulls up across the street, it’s a flower/gift basket delivery van. Fred freaks out even more if that is possible. His office thinks he is home sick and today is Junior Secretary’s Day. Fred admits he was going to be let go from his job but he convinced them to keep him on in the only open position they had – . Junior Secretary. Fred needs George to go over there and get that gift basket before Shelia finds out. I’m wondering how much Junior Secretaries in Chatswin make because the Shays have a nice house, car, etc…I’m getting off topic.
Fred: Which is why we have to go across the street and steal that basket so Shelia doesn’t find out about my secretarial work and I don’t have to live under ground like a Chilean Miner!

George being he good friend he is attempts to sneak across the street only to see Lisa take the gift basket into their house. He is about to try the Shay’s front door when it opens. Ryan has Tessa’s homework and he was heading over to see her.
Ryan: I was just going to bring Tessa her homework. As a friend, not as someone who is hypnotized by the play of sunlight on her coppery hair or anything.
George makes up a story about the gift basket being his and as Ryan heads across the street George goes into the Shay’s house and picks up the basket. Just then the doorknob turns so George grabs the basket and hides in the closet. It’s Shelia. She doesn’t see him but Lisa does. She doesn’t care though.

Ryan is in Tessa’s room being surprisingly helpful. Since she is done with the drugs and the crazy her jaw really hurts and Ryan has a great solution. He puts ice in a tube sock and ties it around her chin/head. She feels much better and he thinks she looks like a bunny. It’s something he did when he was mouth checked in Lacrosse. He tells Tessa she mouth checked him too, on Christmas when she slammed her tongue into his.
He wants to know if it meant anything and she says yes it did but she isn’t sure what. Tessa bring up how they are complete opposites and he thinks that is okay because opposite magnets attract. It’s quite cute when Ryan Shay is being all serious and heartfelt.
Ryan thinks it means something that he is attracted to her even when she is all puffy faced, he also thinks it means something that he makes her smile even when it hurts.
Did I already say how cute and sweet this whole scene is?

George has made it successfully back to his basement with the gift basket and he gets a kiss from Fred as a thank you. George goes back upstairs only to find Shelia in his living room. She questions George about the rat in his basement. Thankfully somehow Fred pulls up right then via airport shuttle distracting Shelia from her rat hunt.

Later Tessa is confiding in Dallas that she really likes Ryan she just isn’t sure how they would work out. Dallas has her own problems though and is telling Tessa she thought she was moving forward with George when Tessa sees the hologram. Tessa admits she threw it out but sort of by accident. Dallas feels much better and offers Tessa this advice about Ryan, “Sometimes there is more to life than what makes sense on paper.” She and George are proof of that.

That night Fred and Shelia are going to bed when Shelia says, “Good night Fred. Happy Junior Secretary’s Day.” Because Shelia Shay knows everything!

Suburgatory airs Wednesday 9:30/8:30c on ABC