SUGURGATORY Recap: Ryan’s Song

Dallas is getting ready for her first date with George and by ready I mean all out spa day (in her house of course) along with Daliah. She really wants this date to be perfect, she’s nervous.

Noah meanwhile is talking to George about his nanny (Daliah’s old nanny). He can’t decide whether to give her a diamond necklace or a pearl one for her two week working for Noah anniversary. George quips he will check with Emily Post. The fact that he knows who she is is actually rather impressive.
When questioned about what he is going to do on his date with Dallas George says dinner and maybe a walk. George says they are past the trying to impress each other stage and I think he needs to go back to Emily Post and do some more reading. Noah couldn’t agree more.
Besides the necklace Noah is taking his nanny Carmen to see the play Carmen. He thinks it is pretty clever but he needs a babysitter. Tessa offers but she gets turned down. Noah doesn’t think she is the right fit.

Over at the Shay’s they are playing Monopoly. Lisa offers to let Ryan be the boot, something she never lets him do. Everyone seems suspicious. Lisa however whispers that if Ryan does ever find out he is adopted she doesn’t want him to leave for a better family. She will not be stuck with the Shay’s alone.

Daliah is opening the door for George. I’m slightly surprised Daliah even knows what to do when the doorbell rings. He asks if Dallas is ready and Daliah says she likes to make an entrance. What happens next is how I will be answering the door from now on. The red carpet unrolls, the main lights dim and some high intensity lights come on. To “Cherry Pie” by Warrent and a fan blowing her hair Dallas enters. She then steps behind a screen and seconds later is in another dress. George is a little taken aback, although I’m not sure why, this is Dallas.
“Dating Dallas Royce was turning out to be as elaborate as a production of Carmen.”

I guess Noah reconsidered Tessa as a babysitter as Tessa is listening to Noah’s list of things to do/not do before he leaves with Carmen for the opera.

Lisa and Ryan are in Lisa’s room, she is trading Ryan rooms since hers is the better room. She just wants him to be happy.
Ryan: Can I have your sweater? A snake? Can I have Tessa Altman?
This leads to a Ryan saying Tessa is his Moose. Or muse if you speak non-jock English. She is his jam. Lisa doesn’t seem so happy to hear this but Ryan wants her help and she is in the anything Ryan wants Ryan gets mode so…

Over at Casa Noah Tessa is watching TV with baby Opus. The house is a little big though and she can’t find anything but murder shows on TV. There is a knock on the door and Tessa, despite being a New Yorker, is scared to open it. It’s a weird little man and Tessa ends up locking herself and the baby in the bathroom. She calls Lisa who keeps bringing up Ryan’s name. She says she can’t help Tessa but Ryan can.
Ryan gets to Noah’s to help Tessa babysit. He doesn’t even let her say how happy she is he is there. And if you saw him out of breath and soaking wet from running the whole way in the rain you might be happy to see him too. Ryan cuts her off to say he thinks he is dying.

Meanwhile at the restaurant of Dallas’s choice George and Dallas meet Tabatha or Tabethatha, Dallas’s life coach. He doesn’t look like a Tabethatha to me. Maybe it’s the balding.
George can’t believe Dallas invited her life coach to dinner with them.
Tabethatha is doing most of the talking at dinner. George isn’t happy and Dallas is sorry but she wanted the date to be perfect. George thinks perfect left about four Tabethatha stories ago.

In the terribly decorated baby’s room Ryan is laying out his case for why he thinks he is dying.
Lisa has been acting very super-duper nice to him. Also he watched a movie once where everyone was being super-duper nice and then the guy coughed and dyed. *Sigh* he’s such a pretty face, a pretty idiot.
Tessa says it is probably just because Lisa is in a relationship with Malik and she wants Ryan to be happy too.
Ryan can’t get over the fact that he is going to die. Opus wakes up and starts crying, cutting off his pitiful dying talk. He picks Opus up and quiets him down, quite effectively too, which as anyone knows is completely sexy. He also realizes he would still like Tessa to kiss him, something she said she could do she was so happy to see him when he got there.
Tessa was going to kiss his cheek but he moves his head and gets her on the mouth instead.
Ryan: You forgot to open your mouth and put your tongue on my tongue and move it around and stuff.

After babysitting Ryan runs back home and confronts Lisa. He is too pretty to die, and people those are his words and not mine this time. He also thought maybe Lisa was dying, her being so pale. If someone is dying he doesn’t want to know about it tonight though because he had a great evening with Tessa. If he had done a twirl with outstretched arms while talking about his evening it wouldn’t have been out of place.

George is walking Dallas up to her door. He says it didn’t work but at least they tried it once. Dallas is not having that at all. She stands in the rain, hair flattening, make up running and declares George is the first man she has ever had to pursued and really wanted. She’s not giving up yet. George says this is the prettiest she has looked all night, because this is the real her. They agree no more life coaches at dinner.
Then in the rain they kiss, with the open mouths and the tongues. That’s what Ryan was talking about.

Suburgatory airs Wednesday 9:30/8:30c on ABC