MODERN FAMILY: Snip

In the second episode of the double dose of Modern Family, Phil is getting a vasectomy. He tells Claire he wants ice cream and she says “oh you don’t need ice cream.” Phil says “I’m sorry is this a vasecto-you or a vasectomy?” One minute in and I am already cracking up. Alex has gone Goth and Claire seems to think it is because of her new friend Skylar. Hailey is on Skype complaining about her clothes and all the kids start yelling. Claire and Phil just exhale and think that in 5 years when Luke goes to college they might have some peace and quiet.

Gloria and Jay go to the doctor and their baby is healthy. When the doctor asked if they wanted to know the sex of the baby Gloria said no and Jay said yes. Jay then said “I’m having a baby at 65. How many more surprises do I need? If Gloria wants a surprise, she should by a box of Cracker Jacks.” Hilarious!

Claire gets tied up running errands for the kids so she won’t be able to take Phil for his procedure, but she arranged for Jay to take him. She goes to drop off Luke’s science project at school and when she tried to put it in his locker, some gross liquid squirted all over her. Luke then yells at her for embarrassing him and all she can say is Five years, just five more years until they have peace and quiet.

Now that Lily is in Kindergarten, Cam has some extra time on his hands. Mitch wants him to get a job but doesn’t want to suggest it because that has been a touchy subject in the past. They go to a clothing store and the man working there offers Cam a job part-time (as a favor to Mitch) and Cam takes the job. The plan worked perfectly until another employees came over and said “Oh is this who you are helping out by offering his boyfriend a job?” Uh Oh. Cam overheard and he is not a happy camper. He stormed out of the store, but not before he grabbed a fabulous scarf and wrapped it around his neck on the way out.

Jay and Phil are in the waiting room and Phil is toe-tapping and pen-clicking nervous. Then a guy comes out moaning and barely able to sit down. They call Phil’s name and he doesn’t move, so Jay goes to the desk. When Jay turns around, Phil is gone.

Claire comes home to find out Alex cut class early with her friend Skylar to shave the back of her hair. So instead of freaking out, she acts cool about it and says let’s cut some hair. She starts waving the clippers around and accidentally cuts a chunk of Skylar’s hair out. Freaked out by it all Skylar leaves and Alex chases after her.

Cam is still upset with Mitch but after talking to him, he realizes he is unfulfilled. His big project over the last eight weeks was a mermaid costume for the cat. He wants to teach music to kids since that is his love.

Jay finds Phil running down the street and tells him to get in the car. He refuses so Jay gets out and asks him what scares him the most. Phil admits he is afraid that it might hurt (plus he is sensitive down there, he can’t go in some Jacuzzis). Then he tells Jay he doesn’t understand because he isn’t afraid of anything. Jay admits that he is afraid of having a girl. He isn’t sure if he is sensitive enough to raise a girl and that’s why he wants to know what the sex of the baby is. Phil said Jay is being sensitive now and he doesn’t think he is the same guy he used to be. Jay realizes Phil is right and he might be able to handle a girl. He decides to take a picture of Phil to capture their tender moment. What Phil doesn’t realize is part of the sign on the bench (with his face on it) is covered up, so it says “not a real man” next to his picture.

Gloria has yet to come to terms with the fact that she is showing and still tries to fit her regular clothes (even though her pregnant belly is hanging out). Manny tries to break it to her gently by telling her that she shouldn’t be afraid because she is not alone this time, she has two partners. She is moved by this and when she wipes his cheek then bam! The buttons on her shirt popped open and she screamed “Aye! What happened?” and Manny said “Your shirt couldn’t take it anymore!” Then she bent down to pick up the buttons and her pants split. Thank goodness they were near a maternity store because Gloria was hanging out all over the place.

Claire showed up to see Phil before his procedure to stop him from having it. She overheard the girls talking about her and both admitting that she was right about some things and Hailey said she missed her. Then Luke came home with his science project and a rose for her. Seeing how sweet her kids were, she wasn’t sure if she was ready for him to have a vasectomy and Phil admitted he wasn’t either so they decided to wait for five more years.

Gloria came home looking great in a maternity dress and Cam took over the music teacher position at Manny’s school. So all’s well that ends well. Well except for one thing, Jay still doesn’t know the sex of his baby but he prays that the baby will be happy and healthy and a boy.

Modern Family airs Wednesday nights at 9/8c on ABC.