PRETTY LITTLE LIARS: Stolen Kisses Recap

This week on Pretty Little Liars ship wars were reignited, fashion don’ts were in full affect, Mama Fitz (or should we say Fitzgerald) makes an appearance, and we got to see a little more into the head of one Maya St.Germain. So let’s get this started.
The episode begins where the previous episode left off. All of the girls are in Spencer’s bedroom looking at Maya’s website trying to figure out how to hack their way into Maya’s brain. Hanna tries to boost Mona’s cred, by saying she was helping the girls, by giving them the address to Maya’s website. Spencer isn’t drinking the Kool-Aid and is still skeptical of Mona’s motives (Spanna shippers hold on to the memories of all the good times between Spencer and Hanna to get through this little tiff). Emily is on the phone with Nate (the guy that is supposedly Maya’s cousin) and they make plans to go to the old boat house, apparently because that was a Maya’s favorite place to make hang out. Once off the phone Emily gives a go, at trying to figure out the password to Maya’s website. Once she realizes she can’t she slams the laptop close and off-handedly mentions how she must not know Maya as much as she thought she did. Poor Em.
Later at Casa de Montgomery we are reminded that Aria has two parents, as Byron her dad, makes an appearance. Byron reminds us why he isn’t winning any father of the year awards anytime soon, by telling his daughter Aria that Meredith, the woman he had an affair with that completely destroyed his marriage, has now gotten a position at Aria’s school. Let’s take a moment to reflect on how messed up it is that your mistress will now be working at the school that your daughter not only attends, but your ex-wife also teaches at. Great job, Byron! There are some comments about salad, and Mike (you remember him, Aria’s little brother), then Aria is out the door to contemplate why she shares the same gene pool as this man.
Out at the old boat house, Emily is wearing an adorable little hat, which somehow has made the amazing Shay Mitchell look that much cuter, Nate is there too and the pair go down memory lane exchanging similar stories about Maya; letting the audience know that Maya had a thing for the elements: air, water, and fire. I’m not sure if that is supposed to be a clue to something later, or just a fun little fact about Maya. Nate reveals that Jenna bailed on their date. But if anyone remembers the living incarnation of Ali, known as CeCe, and what she did to Jenna, then you can see why Jenna didn’t feel it was in her best interest to continue on a date with Nate. We find out that Nate has developed an understanding of the urge to kill as he recalls his encounter with Garret at the hospital, and Emily lets him know that a murderous bloodlust is not a turn on. I have to pause for a second to explain why I called Nate ‘the guy that is supposedly Maya’s cousin’ instead of just calling him, Nate, Maya’s cousin. I don’t really like nor trust Nate. He gives me the eww creepy vibes, and there is speculation out there in the blogosphere that he may be Maya’s stalker from the, get your life together camp, that her parents sent her to. Admitting to want to murder someone with his bare hands, did not help to ease my feelings about Nate. Moving on.
We are now at Ezra’s apartment, where Aria enters with an odd greeting of “Okay Marine, drop down and give me twenty,” instead of going the more traditional route of saying “Hi or “Hello.” Aria is understandably surprised to see a rather regal woman in blue standing before her, instead of her hunky, forbidden fruit beau. We find out that the woman is Dianne Fitzgerald, mother of Ezra Fitz-GERALD, and she had been hoping to make the acquaintance of “the mysterious girl with the lyrical name.” I guess Ezra thought his mom meeting is underage lover might be a bad idea. Can’t say I disagree with this line of thought. So, why is Dianne a Fitzgerald and Ezra a Fitz? Well, apparently Ezra shortened his last name to get out of the heavy weight of the literary greats before him that bared the same name. If his last name was Hemingway, Ezra would have shortened it to Hem. Dianne invites Aria to join her at an event she is holding at the museum, and Aria gladly accepts while Ezra looks like he just ate a live eel. Once his mother departs bad boy Ezra admits that he told his mom a fiblet, in that he started dating Aria after he left his teaching job at the high school, instead of the truth, which was that they were going hot and heavy while he was still Aria’s teacher.
Back at Hastings Manor, Spencer and Hanna are still trying to hack their way into Maya’s world, and finding no success. Spencer comes up with the idea to ask Caleb for help, since he is back in town, and Hanna knowing they really don’t have any other choices accepts the idea. Hanna gets a text from Wren saying they need to talk, then everyone’s favorite handy man and all around good guy, Toby pops up. Toby is there to confront Spencer on the whereabouts of her half-brother Jason Dilaurentis , whom Toby and Spencer lied to the cops for in the previous episode. Toby thinks that Jason has skipped town, and knowing that Spencer won’t tell him the truth about what is going on even if she knew it, decides that he going to find out exactly what has Spencer sneaky around and lying to him again. At this point I just wanted to give Toby a big hug. He really is a nice guy, and just wants to protect his girlfriend; specifically from the people she is related to. There is nothing about the Hastings family that doesn’t scream there are bodies buried in the backyard. From parents to kids, I don’t trust any of them (sorry Spence).
Meanwhile Emily goes to Paige’s house and tries to talk to her about the flask that got both of them totally messed up on separate occasions, but Paige isn’t really in a chatting mood and they make plans to meet up the next day to discuss it.
At the coffee shop, Wren informs Hanna that the powers that be want to move Mona from Radley, out of state to some hardcore facility, because she is a high risk patient. It seems that in addition to her flip outs, Mona has also been sneaking her meds out of the clinic by way of one of her many visitors (I would really love to see visitor sign in sheet). Before Hanna gets a chance to process everything, who but the hacker genius himself appears in the coffee shop. Hanna goes up to him, and you think for a second that she might say something that will help patch things up between the pair. But instead Caleb glances past her to see who she was just sitting with , Wren, and they have most awkward, painful, angsty, eye exchange before Caleb leaves without each of them even uttering a sound. This is one of those moments where you are screaming at your television at the character to say something, ANYTHING, but of course they never listen to you.
The next day school Spencer, who has all the subtlety of Godzilla, gets Caleb to agree to help her find out the password to Maya’s website. Caleb wants to get the “Mona Monster,” so he is all in. During their time together, Spencer gets a text from ‘A’ the reads, “Mona’s almost gone. Hanna’s next.”
At their lockers Aria and Emily discuss, what one wears when going to be judged by meet their future mother-in-law. Hello Kitty was Emily first suggestion, cracking at little fun at Aria’s expense. But upon hearing that Mama Fitzgerald rocks “diamonds and Chanel on a Sunday,” she realized this was more of Spencer’s territory. The girls ponder how deep the Fitzgerald pockets really go, as well as why wouldn’t Ezra ask for his mother’s help if he were truly struggling financially. This makes me think back on that really expensive camera Ezra gave Aria as a gift, and that drawer full of cash; seems to me that Ezra was not in as much financial trouble as we have been previously led to believe.
Outside, all the girls discuss the text Spencer received and what it meant. Hanna fills the group in on the plans to move Mona, and Hanna reminds everyone that she doesn’t want to lose her blood, she needs it.
Aria and Spencer go to Spencer’s house so Aria can get some clothes for the event at the museum, and the girls notice Mrs. Hastings unguarded briefcase on the floor. For reasons only known to herself, Spencer yells out to her mom to see if she is home. Silly Spencer, you don’t have parents. You have transients that pop up every now and then to give you money so you can fill the fridge. Spencer digs through her mother’s bag finding some papers on Garrets case. A few clicks of the camera phone later and the girls have the information saved. Later they are in Spencer’s bedroom pouring over their new found information. Maya was killed on site between 10pm and 2am the same night Garret was arrested at the Hastings’ house. Spencer reasons that this gave him plenty of time to kill Maya and still meet up with Melissa later that night. We find out that not only was Maya killed on site, but her trachea was crushed (brutal), and there were no personal belongs found at the scene. So if she had a bag or anything on her, it was probably taken by the killer. The girls come across a name on the paper. A witness by the name of Bart Comstock seems to be the key to the case. Break him and Garret can get off scott free. Aria decides to go by the address given on her way to the museum.
When I say I want to talk to one of my friends, we usually find a causal dining spot or a café , and sit down and talk. Well Emily and Paige didn’t get the memo on friendship talks, and took to the woods to handle their business. After running for who knows how long the girls stop, and Emily gasps out the information she had been wanting to get off her chest: the flask was tainted, she didn’t know it at the time she let Paige drink from it, and totally didn’t mean for anything to happen to Paige. Well, Paige had a little bomb shell of her own. The night that Emily can’t remember, she was with Paige –well at least for part of the night. According to Paige, Emily just showed up on her porch drunk (she thought at the time) and the girls engaged in a heavy lip lock. Paige never mentioned it before, because she felt guilty for kissing Emily when she was in such a state, plus it was obvious at school the next day that Emily didn’t remember any of it, or at least didn’t want to remember it. Emily becomes extremely upset with Paige and I am pretty sure I heard the collective weeping of all the Paily shippers.
At Radley, Wren tells Hanna that he couldn’t get the board change their minds, and Mona is headed to Saratoga. He has an idea to save Mona though. He tells Hanna that she should go before the board and speak on Mona’s behalf.
The address for Bart Comstock leads Aria to the town’s movie theater. It turns out that Bart works there. He is on the witness list because he saw Maya get into a cop car with Garret the night that she died. Excuse me, what?!
Back at the Manor, Caleb and Spencer chat and flirt (what was that arm grab?), and eventually get access to Maya’s website. The site turns out to be a kind of digital journal; a collection of videos. Spencer calls Aria, who is now at the museum; they exchange info and determine that they really need to find Emily.
At the museum Aria finds out how rich Ezra’s family really is (maybe Rockefeller status), and how Dianne is willing to use that money to keep Aria away from her son. To Dianne, Aria is destructive figure in Ezra’s runaway poor boy fantasy, and she needs to be removed before causing more problems. Aria leaves the museum without telling Ezra, who correctly assumes that is mother is the cause of Aria’s sudden departure.
Emily finds herself back at the old boat house, with creeper Nate, who she didn’t know was there until he came out of the shadows. Again, I don’t trust this dude. They talk about doing things while under the influence. Nate tells Emily you are always you, drunk or not. So I guess that means, drugged or not, Emily meant to kiss Paige.
Hanna is now before the execution squad (or so it would appear) as she pleads for Mona to stay in Rosewood. She tries to be professional at first, but that is SO not Hanna, so she ends up defaulting to her normal Hanna behavior. The Marin charm wins over the panel, allowing Mona to stay in Rosewood. In celebration Hanna kisses Wren. Yes, HANNA KISSES WREN.
Emily finds Paige poolside at her house (can I write an ode to Paige’s pool and house?), and the two girls make amends, in what is probably one of the sweetest and hottest scenes ever to befall Pretty Little Liars. I’m not a Paige fan in the least (she tried to drown Emily after all), but the whole “Don’t look away,” moment followed by the epic make out scene kind of gave some Paily feels.
Aria is back home trying to figure out if she is Ezra’s muse or mistake, when Byron in a totally uncharacteristic move actually comforts his daughter and makes her feel better. Who is this man and what have they done with Byron Montgomery?!
The PLLs, sans Emily, have collected at the Hastings and are looking over Maya’s website. As they peruse, they get extremely uncomfortable watching the private moments of Emily and Maya’s relationship (especially without Emily present). The last video they click is Maya crying, standing on a street somewhere sayings she has to face her fears, she can’t be a coward, and you see some flashing lights, like a cop car. The girls immediately try to call Emily, but she is too busy getting her synchronized swimming on at Paige’s house.
The last scene is the pair of the all too familiar leather gloves, getting a stack of money from what has to the creepiest, worst lit bank in the world. I don’t know if ‘A’ came in after hours or what, but it was far too dark in that place. I tried to see if I recognized the teller’s voice as Ashley Marin (Hanna’s mom), but I couldn’t tell.
Pretty Little Liars was less creepy this week, but it wasn’t any less controversial. Spencer and Caleb? Hanna and Wren? A jaw dropping Paily make out scene. Is there more to the story of Ezra’s family money? And what were the lights in Maya’s video? Leave your thoughts in the comment section below. Did this week help you at all in your theories on ‘A,’ or did it leave you as confused as ever?

Photos: ABC FAMILY/ERIC MCCANDLESS