GLEE: Hold On to Sixteen

It’s time for Sectionals again on Glee which means that I’m going to be forced into some musical numbers that might make me wince, but who the hell cares. It’s been a long day and this is going to be good for me.

No previously this week…okay show.

Rachel, you’re so wrong about what’s going on with Puck and Shelby. It doesn’t actually matter if he’s 18, it’s still wrong. Also, I love that Rachel’s the one to point out the illogical plan of Quinn’s–it’s going to hurt Beth so much more if Shelby loses that job.

Blaine, Finn doesn’t like you because you’re the competition. Why haven’t you figured that out yet?

Kurt–CW hair! That’s the best description of the jerk from the Warblers I’ve heard yet.

The part of me that sees Finn and Rachel have gone to Kentucky to see Sam is just amazed. Also, Sam, why are you stripping for money? With the name White Chocolate, too? Oh honey, no.

Sam, I don’t care that DQ only pays minimum wage, this job as a stripper is just not right. It’s exploitation, if nothing else.

Sam’s dad is Pa Kent? I now really want Sam to meet Smallville’s Clark Kent. Oh Sam’s mom–the DQ doesn’t make him put on the body glitter.

Sam what is this country song? “Red Solo Cup”. I want to facepalm all over the place. No lie. Red Solo Cups are best used for beer, not sparkling cider. I do love how much Kurt doesn’t understand the appeal of the Solo Cup. Thank you Kurt, you’re the voice of reason here.

Santana’s welcome back note to Sam–that might have been one of my favorite things.

Quinn, you move from Puck to Sam in the drop of the hat. Oh honey, you’re a hot mess. It really is you and your rich white girl problems. Sorry honey.

Mike, you should apply to Alvin Alley. That place is amazing. Not Stanford, Pre-Med. I do not want to see Mike and Tina break up just create drama.

Boys dancing…this is only going to go someplace wrong. Blaine’s dance move was good, but Sam’s going to resort to what he knows (sex). Blaine, I love you for saying that you aren’t for sale, but I don’t see the connection.

Blaine, you started a Fight Club. I want to hug you for that. Please punch Finn in the face right now–he has been an ass and he doesn’t need to be the leader. Giving in so easily, Blaine. I’m not impressed.

To bring back Sam and Mercedes at this point isn’t right. Also, it feels cheap, since we didn’t actually see them together. Thanks show for reminding me again of the things you don’t manage to show me.

Tina, you are a ballsy girl. Going to see Mike’s dad, just to suggest that Mike’s dream is not medicine, but dancing. Sorry Mr. Chang, but passion is better than going through the motions to please someone’s ideas.

It’s funny to see both Tina and Quinn in the jackets. The veiled threats through the Trouble Tones introduction is sort of hilarious.

Oh those judges–the hell?

Defiance, Ohio’s Unitards. What an unfortunate name for a Glee club. But really, Evita?

Quinn, you really are a destructive force in the Lima Universe. It’s like everything you touch turns into rotting fruit, but that’s just my opinion.

I’d say that I understand Quinn’s rage at Shelby, but I can’t. She’s just so bitter, and well, that’s just sad.

Trouble Tones singing Gloria Gaynor! I can get behind this, especially with all these girls. I want to tell Finn that New Directions might not have this, but I’m sure I’ll be proven wrong in about ten minutes. But the Trouble Tones just got better with “Survivor” and this mash-up is the perfect combination of girl power. Power to you Mercedes and Santana!

For New Directions, we’ve got “ABC”…timely or just safe? I’m not sure why the crowd is as into this number as they seem to be? I’m not feeling much here. Sam should not try to strip tease to this song. It’s just wrong on so many levels. That said, though, thanks for giving Tina a solo Mr. Shue. We went from Micheal Jackson to Janet…I don’t quite understand this collection at all. It’s been too long since Artie had a solo, too, so I will give this song some respect for that. Okay this is just getting ridiculous…three songs for New Directions and everyone else got one or a mash-up. “Man in the Mirror” is a damn good song, but this collection makes me think that New Directions is winning just based on the screen time. Though I don’t think there’s much artistry to these numbers.

I hope Mr Chang doesn’t ruin this moment for Mike. Oh good, he didn’t. Also, Tina, you’re an amazing girlfriend for submitting those applications for him.

Like I said earlier, I shouldn’t be shocked by New Directions winning, but that number was just not what I wanted it to be.

Wow, it took Rachel’s words to Quinn almost the whole episode to sink in? Quinn, are your grades good enough to get you into Yale? It’s not easy to get into.

This best times of our lives speech is just a weird moment–not that would expect anything else from this show.

I really love this fun song, I must say. I do not know if Santana should get over all the crap with Finn so easily in this moment, but I suppose for the sake of television reality, it’s all water under the bridge.

Glee airs Tuesdays at 8/7c on FOX.