GLEE: I Kissed a Girl

It’s been a long day in the land of Louise, so I want to preemptively apologize for any irrational hatred that might bleed from my sad real life into this recap of Glee.

I want to hug Santana so much for still standing up against Finn for the crap he pulled last episode, and then figure out what the hell Finn is doing by saying that he wasn’t slapped at all. (Finn, you continue to be really dumb all of the time, which I’d take offense at, but at least it’s consistent.)

However, Finn, you lost points again because you have some diluted idea of what is right in Lima.

Rachel’s internal monologue about needing her gay, but then Kurt suggests pulling a JFK and stuffing ballot boxes. There’s no logical way to connect those fact except that Rachel wants Kurt as a best gay friend.

Songs by ladies for the week, I can dig that. Finn finding a way to not make it all about himself, however, that’s a nice change. Though I don’t see how Finn’s totally fine with Santana’s choice if he was going to out her to the whole school.

(Side note, what in the world is with Kurt’s half sweater?)

Sue, you’re attracted to men? This is really news to me. That list of all her male companions is creepy. Poor David Boreanaz.

I’m not shocked that Beiste can eat a turducken.

Noah Puckerman, really? Melissa Etheridge….I do love this song, but the entendre is almost too much for me to take right now. Unrelated to that, but what in the world is going on with your ‘hawk, Puck? It’s looking more and more like you want to be a ’60s soc than anyone who’s in school in 2011. Also, that was so not subtle an attempt to tell Shelby how you feel.

Quinn, your issues are still showing. You can’t go back to what you had with Puck two years ago. The fact that he told that to you to your face is even more hilarious (and painful).

Finn, this role as counselor is getting a little old. I’m pretty sure that Santana wouldn’t kill herself after being outed, because she’s a strong woman who can take almost anything. Stripping down “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” is new and very different, Glee. Good job on that. Santana’s hug is really well done, too.

Beiste is about to lose her cool, I’m fairly sure, watching Sue with the football recruiter. For a woman who has little self-esteem when it comes to men, this is about the worst that she could see.

Brittany won’t even vote for herself. That’s so much a Brittany thing. I do like watching the kids voting here, even if it’s a little sad in the end result.

I’d be happy about seeing the election if it weren’t closer to December than it was to Election Day. I’d like to punch Sue in the face for this stunt, too, Beiste. Singing “Jolene” is a really great choice, though. No one really can compete with Sue under the best of circumstances.

Not only does McKinley have hockey, it also has rugby. Oh now, that’s new. But if that is what it takes for the girls to sing Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl”, then I don’t know what would have gotten us here. (Rory’s reaction is just the most precious thing, however.)

I’m all excited that Santana told her parents (and that they were cool with it). Telling her Abuela, well, that’s another story.

Oh who the hell cheated for Kurt to win this election? I’d hope that Kurt could still get into his dream school, but at Rachel’s doing, that’s just wrong.

Puck knows the quadratic equation? This is news. Though, why the hell is he still in Algebra with Artie, Tina and a few others? Beth split her lip (can we all shed a tear) and Puck wants her to see a plastic surgeon?

Shelby…just NO! You did not cross that line. Puck, it’s not cowardly that she’s staying away now after giving in; she’s protecting her job.

Aww, I want to love on Santana’s grandma even before we get to the conversation. The look on her face, though, this is making me very nervous. All the things that I expected to happen, though, well, they happened. Now I’m going to need a little cry.

Oh Quinn, honey, you don’t want to get knocked up again by Puck. You really don’t. Puck’s right, you are a freaking mess. You need yourself and your own self-esteem not to be compromised by Sue or anyone else around.

Opening up a can of worms you don’t want, Puck. That’s what you just did by telling Quinn you wanted to have angry sex with Shelby.

Sue lost. Oh there is joy in the world. Only even though Sue lost, I don’t think Beiste is going to get the man between them. Stand up for your man, Shannon.

(Horray for Burt Hummel!!)

If Santana is singing k.d lang, I hope that Brittany gets the meaning. Shelby’s side of this song is just creeping me out.

What did Rachel do instead of being with the rest of Glee? Oh, well, she told the truth and can’t compete at Sectionals. That’s different.