All My Olympic Boyfriends

I don’t talk about my TV boyfriends much (Mick St. John! Sayid Jarrah! Damon Salvatore! Bo Duke!) because ours is a private romance. Also, totally fictional. My Olympic boyfriends are a different story. Okay, they’re still fictional romances, but they only come around every couple of years, so why not celebrate them with glee?

Boyfriend: Evan Lysacek
Sport: Figure Skating
Why: He’s tall, dark and handsome; prone to wearing costumes that make him look like a duke from a Gothic romance; and manages to be graceful and masculine while doing triple toe loops and winning the gold. Humble and gracious off the ice, he keeps getting better and better. We need to talk about the clothes off the ice, though.

Boyfriend: Apolo Anton Ohno
Sport: Speed Skating
Why: He’s cute as a button; his massive passes going from fourth to first make me weak in the knees; and he comes across as carefree and out for a good time, when in reality he focuses hard core on his training. I could do without the soul patch, but his penchant for bandanas adds some edge to an otherwise clean cut look.

Boyfriend: Bode Miller
Sport: Alpine Skiing
Why: His squinty eyes and boyish grin are both disarming and roguish; his obvious love of his sport is infectious; the way he takes those jumps on the downhill is mouth-watering; and he has a bit of a bad boy reputation. (What? Did you miss the inclusion of Damon Salvatore on the TV boyfriend list above?)

Boyfriend: Ben Bright
Sport: Coaching little sister Torah to an Olympic gold in the half pipe
Why: He’s Australian (hello, accent); you’ll have to take my word for it that he’s cute ‘cuz I can’t find any photos; obviously has a good relationship with his sister which is always a win.

I haven’t watched hockey or curling or bobsledding; who am I missing? Who’s your Olympic boyfriend?