NEW GIRL Recap: Coming Out

New Girl was – as always – all over the place this episode.

First off we have Coach who is annoyed that the teachers at school all want Ryan. No one wants him anymore. He is so annoyed he does a copious amount of research and figures out that Jess and Ryan can date publically. He wants Jess to come out to the other teachers so they know Ryan is off the market. Jess does this moments before the teachers present their field trip ideas. Maybe not the best plan because even though Ryan’s field trip idea is the only good one when she picks it the teacher’s revolt.

Jess, who cares what everyone thinks of her, ends up caving. She goes with the biology teacher’s foliage trip instead. It turns out however that the foliage trip is actually just a trip to his back yard so he can use the kids to do the raking of leaves and general gardening. Child labor laws be dammed.

By the end of the episode Coach is back in with the teachers. They want him again and Jess makes a speech where she says she loves Ryan. Fortunately he tells her he loves her too. Nothing like declaring your love for each other, for the first time, in a staff meeting.

Then we have Nick and Schmidt’s story. Schmidt has an ulcer and he needs to take the day off of work. This is something he can’t even fathom. He has things to do. Things like landing the red potato account. This, according to him, is the sexiest starch since jasmine rice. So super important things. Nick tries to get Schmidt to relax and Schmidt lashes out at Nick calling him lazy. Nick takes it personally enough to get up before noon the next day. By the end of the day they both realize they want to work together again. By again I mean in college where Nick would invent something and Schmidt would sell it.

Winston’s story is weird – as per the usual – he was given a crystal by his other officers. It is a form of hazing but Winston loves it. He’s sure it’s giving him powers. Over the course of the episode he makes Jess and Coach wear it to help them overcome their issues.

Quote of the night goes to Schmidt for:
Schmidt in reference to wearing sweats, “I’m not going to sit around here all day like an off duty ice cream truck driver.”

New Girl airs Tuesday 9/8c on Fox