DON’T TRUST THE B–Mean Girls… and Dating Games…

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News today has suggested that ABC will not be airing any further episodes of Don’t Trust the B–, so these recaps for last week will be a fond farewell…

I worry about the continuity of this show as now June doesn’t have a job again? What happened to that last one?

June, after Chloe’s had another busy night, convinces Chloe to take her on a Chloe-approved tour of the city. Most of this tour is one of those creepy double-decker bus tours that always scare me. Oh, it’s one of those crime and murder tour! But they’re stopping in the coffee shop, and now Mark is freaking out about some plastic bag in the toilet.

James is frustrated by Mark-Paul Gosselaar building a school in El Salvador.

But in other news, Chloe stood up June’s dinner invitation, and said that they are not actually friends at all. Strictly roommates.

June’s parents are being supportive as she deals with the fallout of her lack of friendship with Chloe. Eli, after the conversation, suggests that June finds people who have similar interests as her and befriend them.

James’ mentee is being bullying at school and so his idea has turned into more than just a PR campaign but also a chance to do some good for this girl. Too bad he turns tail as soon as the bullies appear–looking pretty menacing if I say so.

Chloe’s unimpressed with June’s new friends from pilates because Chloe hates how chatty women can be with each other. One quick conversation with James brings Chloe out to the bar and finds herself with a very scary looking drink without alcohol (THE HORROR!!!)

June’s new alpha friend is trying to take down Chloe now, but this dynamic is not going to end well. Chloe take Stephanie’s jacket and that can’t be good at all.

Turns out Stephanie was murdered the night before and I’m pretty certain that June things Chloe did it. James and Chloe are deep in a conversation that will make Chloe into someone June never wants to be around again.

James’ idea of a make-over is scary (Designing Women is so not in right now), and to help her, James takes a beating.

As a way to help Chloe escape from the police, June planned on giving her money and an address in Florida.

Stephanie didn’t die, but was swept off to Turks and Caicos after her ex-boyfriend proposed.

The yogurt was left by Robin, though, it turns out as a way to get June to eat more. Not sure what Robin’s doing that for, but I’ve become confused by Robin’s appearances at all this season.

Kim’s so confused by this gelato place and as she tells James to take a Japanese seeweed commercial, she gets stuck paying for $16 gelato so small it could be eaten in two bites.

If Chloe and June’s versions of dating are anything, there is no way they should be friends or live together at all.

Mark and June are watching some Bachelorette type show and man is it bad. But that brings in James who has some feelings on television hosts.

Instead of being out in the world and dating, June is still watching dating shows. That won’t last long. Too bad she can’t see that Mark is interested in her and is still going to be in the friendzone (gross that we need to talk about this here show, thanks!), and that Mark might not get out of that zone.

As June talks through a few bad guys at this bar, she meets Daniel, who fits June’s imagined pictures of an older Harry Potter. Then Chloe, as the ultimate bitch, asks Daniel out before June can.

Chloe and June now might be in a competition to win Daniel, thanks to James’ ideas. Nothing good can come of this. First rule of the game is no sex until the fifth date. I like James’ rules as they sound pretty crazy, but then Robin joins in and then it feels so awkward.

June’s date to the dungeon seems awkward, and Chloe throws down some of the game cards and swept into June’s date. That gets Chloe one date closer to sex.

James feels bad for Mark’s continued crush on June, but I really don’t get how long it’s been since Mark figured out he wanted June.

The picnic date is awful, and Chloe’s got some serious issues to prove that point, as if making him pay for a rented chair wasn’t bad enough.

In the end of another part of James’ game, June learns that Mark likes her, but I don’t know if she’ll actually act on that at all. June doesn’t believe it, and then she’s super awkward as she sees him for the first time after that revelation.

The next date is to take Daniel’s great-aunt out, only she’s not supposed to leave the retirement home, just as Daniel hates the conceit of the game. Daniel is taking care of his great-aunt before Chloe interrupts that quality time, but his great-aunt seems to like June and tells Daniel to go to June.

Mark’s reaction to learning that June knows about his crush is nothing short of horrible. Mark blows off their date for watching that show and Daniel shows up in time to “Spring into May”. Daniel starts talking about how he hates burritos, and that derails June’s entire attraction. June runs over to Mark’s place instead and admits to not being to watch the finale without him and makes a play like all the shows that they have watched.

So all of those moments that felt like James had gotten the show off the ground were really just questions from the NYPD about Daniel’s great-aunt. That’s just creepy.

That ending is just so bizarre to not have any resolution about Mark and June or if Chloe and Robin would be more of a screwball comedy team together. But, I’ll just imagine the rest of Apartment 23’s adventures and James’ continued quests for fame and that might make it all the better.


Roz lives in the Los Angeles area, and has been a long time California girl. Despite her better judgment, she enjoys shows about the shallow sides of her home city, but will also find time to watch iZombie, Jane the Virgin, Arrow and much more. With a love of history, she also watches anything that is grounded in real life, including Downton Abbey and Manhattan. Having worked with children, she also follows shows she knows they watch (reminding her of those days of yore for her in the process). Contact her at