It’s just another day in the loft and they are playing “What’s in the Cup” this involves a blindfolded Nick who as the title suggests tries to figure out what is in the cup by putting his hands in it. The rest of the roommates look on and mock him. He is the worst at that game.
There is a knock on the door and it’s none other than Nick’s Dad Walt. I would like to thank the casting directors for getting the family members of the main cast so perfect. Jamie Lee Curtis, Rob Riggles and now Dennis Farina. It’s AWESOME!
Nick however is very uptight about Walt being there and that can’t end well as Nick is uptight in general.
While Nick gets Walt settled in his room Jess asks Winston and Schmidt what Walt does for a living. Schmidt comes right out and says he is a con man. Winston however insists he is a businessman. Winston is a little obsessed with Walt and his mustache.
At the bar later Walt is telling stories about Nick’s childhood much to the amusement of Winston and Jess. Nick however is not at all amused. Jess however is amused, she thinks Walt is charming.
Walt and Jess are talking by themselves about how Walt wants a second chance with Nick and after some of that Walt charm he asks Jess if she has ever been to the race track.
The next day at the tracks Walt tells them about the Sugar Ray. Nick would act like a diabetic having a seizure so the guy threatening to beat up his father would run away scared. Something Nick is sort of proud of.
Walt then asks Nick to go place a bet for him, Nick is hesitant but says oh what the heck.
While he is off doing that Walt confides in Jess that Nick always wanted a horse and he is going to buy one for them. Jess doesn’t quite know what is going on but she agrees to go look at a horse with him and just like that she is part of the con.
She goes down to the paddock with Walt and pretends to be a veterinary student. Walt’s cover name is Uncle Buck which is fantastic. Jess’s goings on about the horse lead people to believe it is sickly and will never race again.
Upstairs, having just placed the be,t Nick and Winston are talking about Dads. Winston mentions Nick’s Dad owes him a few hundred okay maybe eleven hundred dollars when Nick realizes Walt is with Jess. He is sure Walt is going to rip Jess off.Nick and Winston find Jess and Walt just as Walt gets the papers for his new horse. Jess is all excited to tell Nick about the horse who they are going to name A Father’s Love. Nick states he never wanted a horse and asks how much money she gave his Dad. She tries to say she is an investor. Nick is really upset about this because he likes to take it upon himself to protect Jess. It’s sweet.
When they get back to the loft Nick confronts his Dad about the $500.00 he got from Jess to buy the horse. He says Jess will believe anything and goes on to prove it by telling Jess his real name is Jameel. Something Jess does believe for a moment before Nick yells at her. Walt interrupts, he has a plan, he is going to sell the horse for a huge profit and Jess will get her money back. Nick insists he and Jess are going with Walt to make sure that happens.
That night across town Jess is participating in her first middle of the night parking lot horse deal. She is downright giddy. Nick tells Jess to keep her head down, he wants her out of harm’s way so she agrees to be the lookout. Nick goes to help his Dad and ends up having to take his clothes off because he is sweating so much the guys buying the horse think he is a cop wearing a wire. Nick says he only sweats when he is lying and then seeing one of the guys has a tire iron Nick does the Sugar Ray causing the buyers to take off. Jess then sees her opportunity. She takes off too leaving Walt and Nick alone with the horse so they have to talk.
Nick and Walt do end up talking or basically fighting. Nick says Walt is the reason he is such a mess. Walt’s solution is to give Nick his pants since he doesn’t have his clothes. Walt does what I can assume is his attempt at an apology and they seem to come to an understanding.
The next morning Jess sees Walt sneaking out. She tells him he can’t go but he slips past her and out the door anyway.
When Nick wakes up Jess tells him Walt has gone. Nick says it is okay, people don’t change, when they are broken they stay that way. Jess says Nick isn’t broken, he really should be so much worse, like picking up calls on a banana worse. Nick says he is pretty messed up but thanks.
In a side story Schmidt and Robby band together to thwart Cece and her plan to date Indian men.
It all starts when they both show up at her lunch date to spy on her. They see each other and end up hugging over their shared love of Cece.
Later at the bar Robby and Schmidt are talking about how Cece should be with them. They need a plan. Schmidt’s plan is to use his power of manipulation to get Cece back together with Robby at which point he will smite Robby and get Cece back for himself. Robby isn’t not so sure about that smiting part of the plan but they will worry about that later.
Later that night Robby and Schmidt are still at the bar scheming. Schmidt wants to get ten more guys together and form an Ocean’s Twelve. He’ll be Brad Pitt. Robby wants to name a star after her when Schmidt declares he has a plan. His plan involves them going to Cece’s house and yelling, “COOL GUY POWER!” while pounding on her door. She answers and they push their way into her house only to find her family and her date and his family in traditional Indian clothing. The families have to get together before the “kids” can go out on their date. Robby and Schmidt get a little side tracked giving each other compliments before getting thrown out of the apartment.
Back at the bar Schmidt is brainstorming some more ideas with Robby on how to get Cece back.
There were some hilarious quotes tonight so they are below:
Schmidt: You know, when Nick is not working, the service is abysmal. I mean, how many times did I have to repeat the words “Lemon Drop shot”?
Cece: Yeah, I think he was making fun of you.
Schmidt: For what? Working hard and playing hard? I guess the joke is on me!
Schmidt: I feel like Cece’s making a big mistake with this Indian guy. She should be with somebody like us.
Robbie: What are we going to do?
Schmidt: I don’t know. I mean, 1 billion Indian men is a daunting foe. I suddenly feel empathy for Pakistan. But it’s like they say — How do you eat an elephant, Robbie?
Robbie: (smiles): With chopsticks. Slowly — and with chopsticks.
Schmidt: With chopsticks? No!
Robbie: In a taco?
Robbie: Yeah, elephant tacos.
Schmidt: Elephant tacos? Who eats elephant tacos? That’s not even a saying. One bite at a time, Robbie!
Schmidt: What do you think about this? We get a three-person canoe, okay? Then we go to her house, we rap on the door, she answers the door, she sees the three-person canoe, she realizes there’s only two of us, and we say, “Ah, what a conundrum! Please join us.”
Robbie: What about this one? We get some night vision goggles… I guess that’s all I’ve got… I don’t know what else.
Schmidt: I would say Trojan Horse, but…
Robbie: In this economy?
Schmidt: We could always go on a hunger strike.
Robbie: We enlist in the Navy. We quickly rise through the ranks, and then we can take her to the Naval Officers’ Ball.
Schmidt: I feel we’re right there!
New Girl airs Tuesday 9/8c on Fox