NEW GIRL Recap: Santa

I feel like we just did Thanksgiving on New Girl and now it is already time for Christmas.

Schmidt is trimming the tree while the gang makes popcorn/cranberry strings and talks about when they knew Santa wasn’t real. Nick was five when he got his own toy truck back. Jess believed as long as possible and Winston says, “whether or not Santa is real…” This stops the group. Winston doesn’t want to hear that Santa isn’t real. Winston throws a cranberry at Nick and when Nick and Schmidt retaliate one gets stuck in Winston’s ear. He can’t get it all out either.

Nick needs one of the gang to give him a ride to the airport at 3:00AM on Saturday. Jess thinks they should all hang out then since it will be the last time before the holidays. The boys tell her there are so many parties going on that night they aren’t sure how they will hit all of them.
Jess says they need to try to go to as many parties as possible so she is too distracted to call Sam (David Walton). She doesn’t like to be alone during the holidays. The boys don’t want to do it until Jess offers to be the designated driver. Nick’s one request is they don’t act awkward around his stripper girlfriend. He says stripper a few more times and it looks like he is the only one that is awkward about it.
Winston can’t hear any of this due to the wedged in ear cranberry.

First stop a cookie making party. It’s Sadie’s party. Poor Schmidt is upset that Cece is with them and then he laments that it’s all wreaths and no trees, since they are lesbians. He gives Jess five minutes.
Angie’s cookie says “Let’s have sex” but Nick comes up with an excuse. He is at his most awkward. Saying things like he has had tetanus thrice in his life as a way to prove how he can hang with his stripper girlfriend, etc…

We don’t have time for that though because Jess has spotted Sam. She pulls Cece and Schmidt together and hides behind them. They start the bickering since they aren’t getting along now that she rejected Schmidt. Jess doesn’t care about their issues, she just wants to get out of there. Unfortunately Winston is talking to Sam. They turn around and Nick, Angie, Schmidt and Cece all stand close together but Sam sees Jess anyway. Being the mature person she is she yells, “GO GO GO!” and they all run for the door.

Next party is a roof top/house party. Jess is just about to get settled when Sam shows up again. He wants to talk to her but she runs off and right into a sliding glass door. She hits the door a number of times before she asks how he is there. Winston gave Sam the address to the party in exchange for an ear exam. Jess is mad at Winston. Sam pulls Jess aside and said she wants Jess back. She looks stunned and turns and runs right into the same door/glass.

Winston, who is still yelling everything he says, can’t believe Jess never had the dump fantasy. The fantasy every dumped person has about how their love will come back to them. Jess’s involves war time and a hospital. Schmidt says people don’t really change, Sam is still a player.
She sees Sam coming and runs into the bathroom with Winston and Schmidt. Sam says he doesn’t know if she is in there but he made a mistake, he went to that first party because he knew she would be there. He has now said this speech in three rooms so if it sounds a little rehearsed that’s why.
I have refrained from mentioning this thus far but I can’t stop myself. I just adore David Walton. There, I’ve said it, it’s out there, I can move on.
Sam hears Winston loud talking so Jess has to come out and face Sam. Jess tells Sam it is too late, she is in love – with Winston. Sam looks sad but said he had to try.

Outside Angie is running around being a little wild and Nick is trying to keep up. They climb into the sleigh and she starts to pull his clothes off. They fall out of the sleigh, pants around the ankles and everything while the whole party looks on. He yells this is his nightmare.

Cece finds Schmidt. She says she knows he is avoiding her but she has a gift for him and she really wants them to be friends, whenever he is ready. He hands the gift to the nearest girl and asks her to come home with him. Cece looks hurt and walks away.

Inside the house Sam is getting the cranberry out of Winston’s ear. Sam tells Winston he was the only guy in the loft he was ever threatened by. He would trade places with Winston in a heartbeat. Winston finally catches on to what Jess must have said in the room.
Winston and Sam walk outside towards Jess. Winston puts on his Baptist Preacher voice and tells Jess they have been unhappy for far too long. He ends the speech with a, “Be on honkey” and throws his drink on her coat. He whispers that this is for her own good before walking away.
Jess looks at Sam and admits she and Winston were never going out. She wants to know what she is supposed to think when he just shows up. He tries to silence her with a kiss but she pushes him away. She says she is too gullible and she isn’t going to fall for anything this time.
I’m sitting here typing and making a scrunchy face at her as she walks away.

Nick and Angie are next to get into a tiff. He calls her a stripper for now and says she probably does this kind of thing – getting naked in sleighs – all the time. She tells him to kiss her ass and leaves him standing there.
Nick: Nick Miller. Turning lemonade into lemons sine 1981

Last party is Winston’s office party. Winston does some karaoke, some really bad karaoke. Nick finds Jess in the DJ booth. She doesn’t want to talk about her evening but Nick won’t let it go. He uses his DJ voice which is quite amusing and pretends she is a caller on a radio show. She says she had a guy she really liked. She was right to not believe him ,right? Nick, as he does when it comes to Jess, says the right thing.
Nick: You are the kind of girl guys come back for.

Outside the radio station Cece sits down next to Schmidt. She says the present was a bracelet, a tungsten bracelet because according to Schmidt that was the most baller metal. She wanted to find a way to say thank you for him telling her he loved her, even if she was the wrong person. He says love is stupid – bah humbug.

Jess asks Nick where Angie is. He says he ruined it. Jess gives him some good advice and he decides to go after Angie. He turns the mic on in the booth and says publically that he is an idiot, a poor idiot who wrote a terrible zombie book. He has Winston turn the music back up and dances over to Angie in a way that would make Elaine from Seinfeld look like a good dancer. I attached the clip of Elaine dancing here because I’m a little worried not everyone here is old enough to remember Elaine from Seinfeld.
It turns into a very horrible lap dance which Angie takes over and ends with a kiss. Well she ends her part of the dance with a kiss. Schmidt says she isn’t doing it right and he does his own version until Nick stops him with a slap. It’s too bad to because Schmidt was working it out.

On the way home Jess decides to drive to the hospital to see Sam. The nurse behind the counter won’t let Jess in though so Angie offers him gum and then shows him her boobs so Jess can run by. It’s very 10 Things I Hate About You.
They run into a security guard so they pretend to be carolers, it doesn’t work as only Jess can sing. It does bring Sam out of his office though. It also puts a shared smile on Cece and Schmidt’s faces.

Sam says he knows she doesn’t believe him but…and that is as far as he gets because Jess pulls Sam in for a kiss.
While they kiss Winston Cece and Schmidt wonder if they should go to the next party. Schmidt asks Cece if she wants to come with and points with his bracelet covered wrist towards the doors. He would never have given her present away.

New Girl returns with new episodes January 8th.

New Girl airs Tuesday 9/8c on Fox