This episode is about transformation, specifically George transforming into a suburbanite. Thanks to Dallas of course.
Dallas: By moving the plaid from up top to down low you are creating visual intrigue near your quads.
The woman isn’t wrong. They are quite the cute couple.
Meanwhile Malik and Lisa are having a rough break up. Malik seems very sad while Lisa is going the angry route.
After school Tessa tears her eyes away from the thing she is having a relationship with, her tablet, long enough to call George Sheila. He is wearing a pink polo shirt; garden clogs and a jaunty little sun hat but too mean Tessa, too mean.
As soon as Tessa goes into the house two of his friends from the city show up. They are dressed in blacks and greys and look very “city”. They were in the neighborhood and thought they’d stop by and say hi. They aren’t loving George’s new look.
Lisa comes by the Altman’s to hang out with Tessa; she has a lot of free time now that she is single. She even brought her sleep over trunk with her. It has all of her sleep over essentials. From airbrushing kits to tie dying kits to a fish she caught just for Tessa. A friendship fish is you will. I’m telling you right now there will be emails going out to my friends tomorrow as to why I have never received a friendship fish from any of them.
Oh and did I mention that friendship fish has been smoking in Lisa’s bedroom closet for the past month?
Downstairs George is entertaining his guests with diet grapefruit spritzers. They seem less than impressed with the new suburban George.
City Friend: It’s like he’s a real housewife of Chatswin County.
George says that is just ridiculous he can be city George. Then he says words like grub and beer. That’ll show ‘em George!
Upstairs Tessa is trying to figure out how to get out of eating the friendship fish and get back to the movies she was watching on her tablet. Lisa has other plans, two hours of arts and crafts that end with making watermelon helmets. They look stunning, just stunning.
George and the city guys are at the country club when unfortunately for George Fred and Noah show up. Fred is dressed in some sort of 50’s outfit with matching speech patterns and Noah, well Noah is dressed in what I can only describe as an Eddie Murphy from the 90’s snake skin jumpsuit of sorts. Noah’s look goes along with a NY Italian accent. It is so fantastically terrible I can barely look directly at the TV. Turns out they put those outfits on because they heard George’s city friends were in town and they didn’t want to embarrass George. George is very very embarrassed.
The city boys aren’t done mocking Chatswin yet though. Enter Dallas. They call her fake boob, nose and hair before George introduces her as his girlfriend. They don’t even know what to do with Dallas. George has had enough of this though; they can mock him but not Dallas. She is a great person and George is happy. He leaves them sitting at the bar.
Poor Tessa is still in the house with Lisa. Lisa has hired a caricature artist to draw their pictures. Now it is Tessa’s turn to have enough, she calls in a fake report to Sheila about the fire hazard that is the smoker in Lisa’s closet.
Dallas is listening to George complain about what tools his old friends are. She suggests he outbid them on the project they are working on and show them how great he still is.
George thinks that is a great idea. He goes to work.
Dallas: You are architecturing the hell out of those designs.
The next day Tessa is across the street apologizing to Lisa. She is sorry she ratted her out but it was too much. Tessa is sorry enough that she sits down and shares the friendship fish with Lisa. It doesn’t end well though as Tessa is next seen in the hospital throwing up.
Understandably Lisa is there to apologize. She had no idea it would make her sick. Yeah, who saw that coming?
While this is going on George is presenting his building idea to the committee. The only problem is he has missed 11 calls from Tessa. In fact she had to call her Grandmother in order to get released from the hospital.
In the end it turns out George didn’t get the project he bid on, neither did his city friends so he isn’t as upset as he could have been and this way he can spend more time with Tessa.
Suburgatory airs Wednesday 9:30/8:30c on ABC