Right out of the gate we are treated to an awkward “family” breakfast, Eden having moved in at the end of last episode. Tessa is putting the icing on a toaster strudel and Eden is eating something healthy that I can’t even identify. George shows up for breakfast dressed which Tessa points out is odd. Usually he is in sweats and a nose strip.
He is about to put icing on his own toaster strudel when Eden does some weird high pitched voice telling George to eat the healthy food on the stove. He says okay he’ll eat Eden’s cereal stuff causing Tessa to get upset so he puts icing on the cereal…Eden continues to do the annoying high pitched voice. Tessa wonders how long Eden is in town.
George and Tessa are in Tessa’s room. She really does want to know how long Eden is in town so she can mark it on her calendar, with a smiley face. George says late June/early July, maybe the middle of August. He fumbles about and then admits he didn’t discuss it with Eden yet. Tessa wants to know if he has discussed anything with Eden like the amount of time she spends in the bathroom when Tessa needs to get ready for school. George says he knows it is hard having someone in your space. Eden doesn’t even want them to use the internet. She read a report about the internet relating to fetus sterility. Yeah, fetus sterility. Tessa isn’t happy. This will be the theme for most of the episode.
Later that morning Noah is leaving after a visit with Eden. Sheila is standing across the street staring an evil stare…evil even for her. She tells Noah he is screwed, Eden has the baby wrapped around her uterus. She is in the baby’s head all day every day, not only that but the male the baby hears the most is George. Noah is starts to fall for Sheila’s ridiculousness. He is going to double the length of the scheduled visits so the baby will know who his Daddy is. This prompts an uncomfortable back and forth shouting conversation.
Sheila: Who’s his Daddy? Noah: I AM!
Shelia: Who’s his Daddy? Noah: I AM!
Noah: Who’s your Daddy? Sheila: You don’t know him, he lives in Oregon!
Followed by some very heavy breathing. It’s extremely awkward.
Over at Casa de Royce Dallas confronts Dalia. She has been looking for her keys for an hour and once again they were in the pouch of Dalia’s kangaroo. Dalia calmly says Penuche (that’s what she named her kangaroo) likes shiny things. Dallas says Penuche is a kleptomaniac and yesterday he kicked Carman in the gut.
Dalia: She provoked him.
Dallas finds that hard to believe. She says the kangaroo needs to move to the guest house.
After hearing a crash we see the kangaroo hop down the hall.
Dallas: Oh dear. He learned to open doors! This is it Dalia…this is how the monkey’s rose!
Tessa and George are at the kitchen table again, this time for dinner. Eden has made some sort of loaf. It does not look good and Tessa voices her opinion. George tries to cover this up by asking about her day. In true Chatswin fashion the school has made texting a language class. So now she can drop Spanish. George says no, he hated French but he stuck with it and now if they were in Paris and he had a sore throat he could tell someone. Tessa doesn’t see how that is all that helpful.
Eden agrees with George and goes as far as to quote Oliver Wendell Holmes. Tessa says that doesn’t really resonate with her. George suggests a vote and Eden votes with George (of course) so Tessa is stuck with Spanish. She is really not happy.
At school Lisa is listening to Tessa complain. Lisa is just glad to be going to macramé camp this summer so she can get out of the house of the women she formally called Mother. She is still waiting on the DNA results and suggests Tessa should come to macramé camp with her. Tessa thinks she should do an internship in NY instead. She’s a city girl after all.
Malik shows up and announces he is going to sports camp. Lisa thought they were going to spend the summer together. Malik says they are, but not at macramé camp.
Eden is at home doing crossword puzzles practically on Noah’s head while Noah rests his head against Eden’s stomach telling the baby stories.
Noah: …After that no one called me lady pits again.
Eden is starting to lose patience. He has been here for 3 hours and she has had enough. Noah says he know she doesn’t like him; he figured that out when she moved out of his house and in with George. She says she moved out because he has no respect for boundaries. He counters with she has no respect for him. Eden firmly tells him to go and shows him out of the house.
In the counselors office for couples counseling Malik and Lisa or “Malisa” as the counselor refers to them (yay the found a couple name) are trying to “sample each other’s passion” so they can decide where to go for summer camp…together.
Malik is going to try macramé and Lisa holding a lacrosse stick throws ball thru a window…so that’s not working.
Tessa is at home on the computer trying to get something to print before she gets caught on line. Eden comes in to ask if she turned on the wireless router and as Tessa says no two pages print. Eden pulls them off of the printer and sees that they are for a summer internship in NY. Eden thinks it is a great idea. In fact Eden starts to share about her first internship. It was to pee on the compost at a sustainable farm. Of course it was…
Eden tells Tessa her best advice is to apply in person. Tessa says George won’t like it, but Eden says she will talk to George. Tessa actually says thank you.
George is rolling on a yoga ball in the living room listening to Eden talk about how she threw Noah out of the house this morning. They agree the pregnancy is making Noah nuts.
Eden thinks maybe she was too blunt with Noah but George says nah, I love how straight forward you are. Oh good because she encouraged Tessa to apply for an internship with the Village Voice. George stops rolling around on the yoga ball. Now he doesn’t look happy. Eden even dropped her at the train so she could hand in her application in person. George is mad but trying to hide it. He keeps answering Eden’s comments in question form. He says he isn’t mad, he is confused. He is confused who in their right mind would give someone else’s child permission to do something like that. Before he can get even madder he gets an urgent text and leaves.
At The Village Voice Tessa is turning in her internship application. The snarky editor says she can’t turn hand it in in person; it has to be submitted online. She keeps pushing so the guy takes the application and puts it under a pile of other papers before going back to ignoring her.
Tessa goes to walk away and then turns back.
Tessa: Troy, I know you are a snide holier than thou urbanite. That’s what I love about you. And that is what I miss about myself.
She really wants the internship and she will do whatever it takes. She turns to walk away and sees snarky editor pulling her application out from under the pile and really looking at it.
Turns out the urgent text was from Dallas. Walking into her house George looks around. The house looks like it was ransacked or at the epicenter of an earthquake. He wants to know what happened. Dallas is upset at the kangaroo…she rues the day she invited him into their house. She goes on to say a house guest should have some respect. George laments that he completely understands what she means. George starts to help Dallas clean up and they converse some more about parenting and the teens in their lives. Dalia is up in her room and won’t come out. George says maybe Dalia is really upset about her pet being sent to the guest house because she recently lost something else that was important to her. After a moment Dallas gets George was talking about Dalia’s Dad being gone. Dallas says he has a point. Then she tells him it is all about communication. She says he should go home and talk to Eden.
In what looks completely natural they hold hands as they walk across the room. George stops near the door and asks Dallas if she realizes they seem to solve things when they get in a room together. She says they do make a good team. George agrees, just like Mulder and Scully. Dallas pretends she knows what he is talking about but she clearly doesn’t. George just smiles.
Lisa and Malik are standing in Lisa’s dining room. Malik is in a macramé outfit very similar to something The Jackson’s would have worn in the 70’s. They are arguing about what camp to go to. Lisa is terrible at lacrosse and Malik is good at everything (he must have made his own outfit).
Enter Shelia with a tray of lemonade. Shelia says she overheard the whole conversation and picked a side.
Shelia: Lisa…stand by your man. Malik…that outfit is fly.
Lisa says fine, let’s go to sports camp but Malik says no, she needs this more than he does; they are going to macramé camp. They hug and he muses about weaving a macramé bikini for her.
George comes back home and Eden immediately says she feels terrible. She is sorry she got involved in Tessa’s parenting and he is sorry he walked out. He just isn’t used to other people making decisions for Tessa. Tessa walks into the conversation. George accuses Tessa of being perfectly fine with Eden chiming in as long as she agrees with Tessa. Tessa says the same thing applies to him. They start yelling and Eden interrupts. She has an idea, he can tell her to shut up if he wants too. What if Tessa commutes? He cuts her off with a shut up and then a sorry. He does it three times. He just can’t get past the words Tessa and Commute together.
Eden’s idea is George gets Tessa a train pass and she goes into the city during the day and comes home to Chatswin at night. Tessa doesn’t like it. She will only see the inside of the office building. She won’t be able to go out after work or hang with her friends. She goes upstairs and slams her door.
A moment later Noah rings George’s door bell. He and George are talking on the porch. He isn’t going to do the scheduled visits anymore. They have become uncomfortable. George is sorry if this is his fault, he thought he was doing what was best. Noah says it is okay. Then they start an odd little argument about what is a donut and what is a donut hole.
We end with Dallas at home on the couch eating donut holes surrounded by DVD’s. She is watching X Files and yelling at Mulder to kiss Scully already!
Next week is the season finale. I haven’t seen a preview for, or read, what the episode is about so I wonder if Eden will have the baby next week or if that is something that will carry over into next season.
And while I don’t mind Eden and George together…I wish he would admit what he and Dallas feel. That isn’t the way TV works though so I will just have to wait.
See you next week!
SUBURGATORY airs 8:30/7:30c on ABC